Anorak News | The Magic Box

The Magic Box

by | 13th, June 2005

‘WOMEN have come a long way on TV?

Box play’s got more legs than Angela Rippon

Things have moved on from when John Logie Baird’s landlady became the first woman to appear on British television.

Back then, it is unlikely the Scots inventor saw the grainy image and wondered how much better it would have looked had the woman been naked or sat in a cardboard box telling everyone present that she was “wanking”.

Baird may have been a pioneer in the history of the magic box, but when it came to thinking outside it, he was a rank amateur.

Thankfully, today we have people who have studied what TV means at college, and we don’t just mean watching Pebble Mill and films of books they should have read. We mean real study. With real TVs.

And this means today we can get to see Big Brother’s Sam.

Where Baird failed, today’s TV execs have prospered. And now we have Sam sat in a cardboard box telling the world that she is playing with herself.

This was undoubtedly a great moment in TV, to rank right up there alongside Kenneth Tynan’s inaugural use of the F-word on TV in 1965.

And who’s to say that Sam’s onanism won’t lead to a sea-change in what we watch. Since Tynan brought the word onto TV screens, it’s been broadcast thousands of times.

It won’t be too long before every show in need of looking ‘now’ has a woman in a cardboard box masturbating.

It’s not too hard to imagine EastEnders’ Jesse Wallace secreting herself into an old carton. “You awight, Kat?” “Yeah. T’riffic. I’m pork scrathin’. Nah, f-off!”

But women on TV can be so much more. And it was nice to see that Sam’s masturbating can share space with Big Brother’s Vanessa oohing and aahing over being given something as innocent as jam.

Here was the Women’s Institute uncut. How long before the WI adds a new element to its shows?

“The first prize in jam making goes to Mrs Hartle-Bosom, while Mrs Jones-Stubbs wins a complementary rosette for her embroidered ‘wanking box’. Well, done.”

Jolly good show…’

Posted: 13th, June 2005 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink