Anorak News | Owen’s Goal

Owen’s Goal

by | 4th, July 2005

‘REMEMBER when OK! told us Michael Owen’s wedding was to be a low-key affair, how Michael and his beloved have “kept quiet” about their marriage (see Faking The Michael)?

Nothing to see here

Well, you can never accuse Hello! of plagiarising their rivals because rather than running with the same story, the magazine has instead produced a 42-page long tribute to the event that OK! chose to cover in a mere handful of words.

What Michael lacks in stature he more than makes up for in stamina as he embarks on a photoshoot and valedictory tribute that takes almost as long to read as it did to play out in real life.

What with this being a footballer’s wedding, we join the action in the changing room at the couple’s sprawling Lower Staughton Hall home in North Wales, where bride-to-be Louise Bonsall is getting ready for her big day with a rub down from her hair coach and nail trainer.

Now it’s over to the outside broadcast unit, to inspect the pitch at the couple’s 45 acres of field and gardens.

OK! soon spots the army of florists, gardeners, chefs and helpers, all vital ingredients in any footballer’s big day.

Soon the fans begin to arrive. Though just 80 in number, the hardcore of supporters have travelled from all over the place to see the star run rings around his girlfriend’s finger and collect his blonde trophy.

Still dressed in his taupe and chocolate-weave suit (a grey two-piece kit with vertical brown stripes), designed by his now wife, Michael listened as the official, Sue Friar, chanted two poems – The Art of a Marriage and Blessing of the Apaches.

It was then time for Owen and his strike partner to show Hello! into the post-match hospitality suite for much champagne spraying and chants of “Ere we go”.

“At 5pm the wedding breakfast was announced to a fanfare of trumpets” and guests got stuck into a protein-rich seafood starter followed by lean chicken and energy-giving berries for afters.

The band played Up Where We Belong, followed by the more traditional footballing fare of Three Lions (It’s Coming Home) and We Are the Champions.

And that’s where we leave the do, as it slips into extra time and the guest wonder what penalty they’ll pay on the morrow for getting their kicks on so much booze and merry making…

Paul Sorene’

Posted: 4th, July 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink