Anorak News | Tango & Cash

Tango & Cash

by | 14th, July 2005

‘“IT’S the ultimate showbiz cliché,” writes OK!, “beautiful pop star marries handsome footballer.”

When two become one

But who wants to be a cliché when you can be Cheryl Tweedy and Ashley Cole?

Just weeks ago, Ashley asked Cheryl to be his wife. She consented. And ever since we’ve been reading about how wonderfully in love they are.

This week they are still madly in love – something OK! can “confirm”. As can we.

At pains to point out they are no Day-vid and Victoria Beckham – Ash isn’t as black as Dave, and Cheryl still harbours realistic ambitions of having a No.1 solo hit – the pair are, nonetheless, doing a passable impression of the England captain and his tick.

Anyone who watched the period in the Beckhams’ co-existence when Dave and Posh began morphing into one – always rubbing up close together, wearing his ‘n’ hers matching outfits – is invited to consider this new pop-footy combo.

It’s as if Ash and Cher have ceased to be individuals and now function as two halves of a whole. Not symbiotic. More hermaphroditic.

So rather than call them Ashley and Cher, let’s par things down and call them by a single name. It will save time. So, given the massive earning power of the average premiership footballer, let’s call them Cash.

There’s Cash in the lounge of his (we’ll stick with convention and call Cash a he) duplex apartment in a north London suburb.

Cash is wearing brown with bits of blue on his breasts. In scene two, he’s in pink and shiny diamond. One page on and it’s khaki. Then lots of denim.

All the while it’s coordinated, and impossible to see the join. Which is testament to their love, and represents something more harmonious than anything Posh has ever managed…’

Posted: 14th, July 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink