Anorak News | Dune & Dusted

Dune & Dusted

by | 22nd, July 2005

‘DEPRIVED of Page 3 and thus from hearing what busty Nikki from Billericay thinks of bombs and if she’s ever dated a Muslim, readers are forced to look elsewhere for flesh.

‘Come quietly, sir, don’t let’s make this any harder than it need be’

And after a scour of the papers, we spot a nice shot in the Express of a topless copper walking along a beach and talking on his mobile phone.

He’s Chief Inspector Nick Maton. And no, he’s not been caught with his top off on a webcam or advertising himself in the pages of an adult contact magazine; rather, he’s been looking for people outraging public decency on a nudist beach in Dorset.

The plan is that Maton and his bevy of bikini-clad female officers and police trained hunks in trunks will blend in with the crowd on Studland beach and spot any perverts.

Maton says that in the past these perverts have hidden in the sand dunes and waited for couples to start having sex. Now, however, they are more “overt” and approach couples.

“One naturist couple had written in the sand in front of them ‘no pervs’, so they wouldn’t be approached. For people to need to do this is unacceptable.”

So it’s uniforms off, truncheons waved and handcuffs at the ready to nab these perverts. Only where to grab them is a bone of contention…’

Posted: 22nd, July 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink