Anorak News | Breast Is Best

Breast Is Best

by | 4th, August 2005

‘THE votes are in, the ballot papers have been counted and the result is…women should get their boobs out on the beach this summer.

Charlotte Church tries to stick to the letter of the EU Optical Radiation Directive

The Star readership has not just spoken, it has shouted – with a massive 87% voting for brave British beach babes to defy the mobile camera pests and “CARRY ON TOPLESS”.

They included red-blooded men like law student Dan Jewell, who says: “I don’t understand why people have a problem going topless.”

He clearly hasn’t met 27-year-old retail manager Martin Sheekey, who says taking snaps of girls’ boobs is all part of the fun.

“At Tenerife, a load of lads took pictures of the girls in the pool,” he reports.

And breasts are to the fore over in the Sun, which has this morning finally woken up to the dangers posed by the EU Optical Radiation Directive (or “tan ban”, as it’s known).

The paper launches a “SAVE OUR JUGS” campaign against the “po-faced penpushers” who have ordered barmaids to cover up their cleavage if they go outside to collect glasses for fear of getting skin cancer.

What exactly does the campaign involve? Employing expensive lobbyists to try to get the ban revoked? Delivering a petition of a million signatures to Brussels? A campaign of civil disobedience?

No, instead the Sun wants its readers to send in snaps of busty barmaids who could be hit by the ban.

“We’ll print the best,” it promises, “and make a plaster cast of the winner’s boobs to hang in your local.”

As a reminder that there’ll always be an England…’

Posted: 4th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink