Anorak News | The Island

The Island

by | 23rd, August 2005

‘WE seek him here, we seek him there. His clothes are loud, but never square. He’s over there. It’s Tony Blair!

‘A free rum punch if you promise not to invade us, Mr Blair’

Finally, the Mail has spotted that bouffant-haired dedicated follower of fashion on his jolly holidays.

“BLAIR BLOWS HIS OWN COVER,” shouts the papers front-page headline, as after days of guesswork we learn where our fearless leader has been turning his skin a lively shade of pink.

Hard luck on those of you who guessed that Tony had been staying in Texas, trying on all manner of ten gallon hats for size and perfecting his ‘Dubya Swagger’. And more fool you for thinking even for a nanosecond that the leader of this country would be holidaying in it.

Tony is holed up at a pal’s place in Barbados. And the reason we now know this is because undercover Tony decided to turn up to a VJ celebration on the island.

The Mirror says that Blair’s director of communications, Dave Hill, was forced to tell us all where Tony is when the PM attended an official function held by the Barbados Legion.

Very good. Right that Tony should mark so important a day in our history. But how did the Legion know Tony was among them? Didn’t they realise his visit was a secret?

The Mail smells something fishy and wonders if Tony didn’t invite himself to the do. Why go to the bother and expense of keeping the trip top secret if you are to accept an invitation for a public appearances?

Such a question is put to a spokesman for Number 10. The mouthpiece pauses for a moment and then offers the explanation: “I don’t know how the Barbados Legion knew he was there.”

But they did. Which gives some value to the comments of Tory MP Henry Bellingham, who tells the Sun: “It’s becoming a farce.” He goes on: “I suspect the reason is not about security. It’s to try and avoid media interest in the people he has been staying with.”

No, not the Hiltons, the Sheratons or the Marriots, whose hospitality is rewarded with money and open to one and all, but one of Tony’s chums.

If Tony is in Barbados – and this report is not part of an elaborate ruse – it could mean he’s once again staying at Cliff Richard’s luxury £3million pad.

Although he might not be there any more. These are dangerous times, and it is possibly that Tony has now moved on. The VJ do was on Sunday, and by now he could be anywhere.

But we should know where he is, not least to avoid the place. Which means it’s time we took things into our own hands. Unpack the hounds! Dust off the horses!

Let’s see if we can pick up his scent, which is a heady mixture of sun cream, fish and humbug…’

Posted: 23rd, August 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink