Anorak News | War With The Birds

War With The Birds

by | 20th, October 2005

‘JUST to let you know that the war on terror has – as we predicted it would – become the “WAR ON BIRD FLU”.

Chicken al-Licken speaking live on Al Jazeera TV last night

The Sun says that war has been declared on the H5N1 strain of bird flu. If seen it will be shot on sight. Anyone knowing to be consorting with the enemy will also be shot.

No, no really shot, as in fired on with bullets, but given shots of the anti-bird flu vaccine.

The paper says the Government has pledged to buy enough of the stuff to inoculate the entire population twice.

Chief Medial Officer Sir Liam Donaldson has invited drugs manufacturers to bid for the right to supply 120 million doses of the vaccine.

“We cannot prevent a flu pandemic but we can reduce its impact,” says Donaldson.

But why wait? The paper says that like some microbe-sized Hitler the bug has already begun its “deadly march” across Europe. It’s just been spotted south of Moscow.

Surely if this is war, as the Sun says it is, we should launch a counter offensive. Send for the marines. Make ready the nuclear warheads. Call President Bush. We’re under attack.

And if Bush refuses to help, tell him the bugs have got beards and Iranian passports…’

Posted: 20th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink