Anorak News | Oh My God!

Oh My God!

by | 21st, October 2005

‘HOW proud Hollywood parents must be when their little bundle of designer clothes opens her photogenic mouth and utters her very first “OHMYGOD!”.

‘It parts on the tongue’ – Moses

Spirituality lies at the centre of the Hollywood experience. God moves through Beverly Hills like a paparazzi on a scooter. God is seen in new pairs of shoes (“OHMYGOD! those Jimmy Choo’s are heavenly?!”), in lo-cal muffins (“Like OHMYGOD! Those lo-cal muffins are to die for!”) and even in the Church (“OHMYGOD! didn’t the new priest use to be in Miami Vice?”).

The godly one is your personal deity to do with as you will. You can even make up an entirely new religion to fit him into your schedule; not something cultish like the Branch Davidians but something real that you can taste in water bought for $3.80 a bottle. Something like Kabbalah.

But Kabbalah is not to everyone’s taste. And the Enquirer says that Demi Moore’s OHMYGOD is not Bruce Willis’s or his children’s OHMYGOD. So Bruce has banned ex-wife Demi from taking their three girls to the Kabbalah Centre in Los Angeles.

An insider tells the magazine: “Bruce let Demi know in no uncertain terms he doesn’t want the girls hanging round the Kabbalah crowd… He says they can choose whatever religion they want when they’re adult, but while they’re still growing up, he’s going to have his say. And his say is: ‘No!’”

What religion the girls adhere to is not told, perhaps they have their own. But one thing is for certain, Kabbalah is out.

And it’s out for British Rabbi Barry Marcus, who calls Kabbalah a “cult”. And Rabbi Jacob Immanuel Schochet says that the Kabbalah water “has not more value than tap water. I advise all people to stay away from Kabbalah centres.”

That’s as clear as the Kabbalah water, maybe ever clearer. But everything can be improved, even OHMYGOD. And there are rumours that the Kabbalah water is no be improved and that Demi is helping the Centre to launch a special Kabbalah energy drink.

“OHMYGOD” and OHMYGOD LITE” may well be in the shops soon. And they might just be as good as the real thing, whatever that is…’

Posted: 21st, October 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink