Oh My God!
‘HOW proud Hollywood parents must be when their little bundle of designer clothes opens her photogenic mouth and utters her very first OHMYGOD!.
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‘It parts on the tongue’ – Moses |
Spirituality lies at the centre of the Hollywood experience. God moves through Beverly Hills like a paparazzi on a scooter. God is seen in new pairs of shoes (OHMYGOD! those Jimmy Choos are heavenly?!), in lo-cal muffins (Like OHMYGOD! Those lo-cal muffins are to die for!) and even in the Church (OHMYGOD! didnt the new priest use to be in Miami Vice?).
The godly one is your personal deity to do with as you will. You can even make up an entirely new religion to fit him into your schedule; not something cultish like the Branch Davidians but something real that you can taste in water bought for $3.80 a bottle. Something like Kabbalah.
But Kabbalah is not to everyones taste. And the Enquirer says that Demi Moores OHMYGOD is not Bruce Williss or his childrens OHMYGOD. So Bruce has banned ex-wife Demi from taking their three girls to the Kabbalah Centre in Los Angeles.
An insider tells the magazine: Bruce let Demi know in no uncertain terms he doesnt want the girls hanging round the Kabbalah crowd… He says they can choose whatever religion they want when theyre adult, but while theyre still growing up, hes going to have his say. And his say is: No!
What religion the girls adhere to is not told, perhaps they have their own. But one thing is for certain, Kabbalah is out.
And its out for British Rabbi Barry Marcus, who calls Kabbalah a cult. And Rabbi Jacob Immanuel Schochet says that the Kabbalah water has not more value than tap water. I advise all people to stay away from Kabbalah centres.
Thats as clear as the Kabbalah water, maybe ever clearer. But everything can be improved, even OHMYGOD. And there are rumours that the Kabbalah water is no be improved and that Demi is helping the Centre to launch a special Kabbalah energy drink.
OHMYGOD and OHMYGOD LITE may well be in the shops soon. And they might just be as good as the real thing, whatever that is…’
Posted: 21st, October 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
