Calling Time
‘WHATS the time, Mr Wolf? asks the little loves in the playground. The wolf spins round, his chops slavering. Time for you to get inside. I cant get any rest with all your noise. Bloomin kids. In my day…
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Where are the lambs, Mr Wolf? |
Well leave Mr Wolf to get on with his tirade. And turn to the Express. There we learn that the wolfs name is Jim Habens, and his home backs on to the Jigsaw Day Nursery at Locks Heath, Hampshire.
When Habens heard the little children asking Mr Wolf the time, he picked up a phone and rather than dialling the speaking clock, called Fareham Borough Council.
Hed had enough. The children were just too noisy. Why couldnt they just get a watch like everyone else? He wanted quiet.
And now hes got it. Thanks to this tetchy wolf, the 70 children aged two to five can now only play in the garden for an hour a day. And they must not be noisy. Asking Whats the time, Mr Wolf? is verboten.
Failure to comply with this directive could result in a noise abatement order, which carries a maximum fine of £5,000.
The children, as is always the way with such stories, are said to be extremely upset.
The poor lambs are no longer allowed to dash around in the pouring rain and chill winds all day. If they want to catch hypothermia, theyll have to do it in their own time. Although we are told that shouting can help to keep you warm…’
Posted: 10th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
