Anorak News | Ratted Out

Ratted Out

by | 11th, November 2005

‘YOU might think the comic potential of white rappers had been exhausted with Vanilla Ice, 2 Live Jews (As Kosher As They Wanna Be) and Ali G.

‘Ratatat-tat, I’m a rapper in a hat’

But hold onto your microphones as you learn in the Enquirer that Kevin Federline is marrying rapping with dancing to push the envelope of this much ignored art form to its very limit.

We’ve not heard Kevin’s rap, but Britney Spears apparently has, and she’s none too impressed. “I don’t think neither Britney nor her minders like the fact he’s in a money-draining dance studio project with Michael Jackson’s dad Joe,” says a source. “And Britney can’t be impressed by his dancing or his attempts at being a rapper.”

Kevin the new whiter Michael Jackson? Let’s just stick with Kevin the rapper for now. And wonder if he can reprise the art movement that peaked in the early 1980s with white rappers like Joe Pescy (Wiseguy Rap), Mel Brooks (Hitler Rap) and Kenny Everett (Snot Rap).

And let us not forget Roland Rat (Rat Rapping), an especially apt act considering that Roland was aided in his musical journey by a rodent Kevin of his own, a squeaky keen-to—please gerbil.

But we digress, and realise that while Kevin is making us laugh, he’s also making his wife angry.

“BRITNEY DIVORCE?” says the Enquirer’s headline. News is that while Britney cares for the couple’s baby son, Sean, Kevin is out with pals flirting, boozing and smoking something that might or might not be marijuana.

The marriage seems to be in crisis. And the fear is that Britney and Kevin will split. Unless they can beat the rap, or die laughing trying…’

Posted: 11th, November 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink