Anorak News | Gym-iny Cricket

Gym-iny Cricket

by | 21st, November 2005

‘YOU can keep you complimentary tangerine, what we want for Christmas is a cure for orange peel thighs.

Jordan and her medicine balls

Thankfully, the orangey Jordan is in a giving mood. As the front page of OK! promises: “I’LL SHOW YOU HOW TO GET THE PERFECT BODY IN TWO WEEKS”.

Worry ye not. This perfect body requires no surgeon’s knife. There’s no need to push a couple of medicine balls into your bra or Y-fronts. You just need to pay attention.

Like you, Jordan is “essentially a lazy person”. As she says, she prefers to scoff curries and pizza. The gym is not her natural habitat.

But she does have Peter Andre, who like some tanned Jiminy Cricket acts as Jordan’s keep-fit conscience.

But not everyone is luckily enough to have a little Pete to perch on their shoulder and tell them what’s what. So Jordan has some words to the wise.

Try the juicing diet. “I get apples, ginger, celery, avocados and that sort of thing and whizz them up in blender,” says she.

That sort of thing…? Like fruit and Vegetables? Like watermelons and pumpkins?

But before Jordan juices herself, there’s more work to be done. If you want to look like Jordan you’ll need a personal trainer. She was going to the gym or working out with her fitness instructor about three of four times a week prior to her wedding.

But if you can’t make it to the gym, don’t worry. Jordan sometimes did it in her lounge, sometimes in her garden. And when her son Harvey was in hospital, Jordan used the gym at a nearby hotel.

And she means using the gym, not just turning up and preening. “I can’t bear it when I see all these women in gyms in the designer kit, full make-up, reading a magazine or on the phone.” Or eating a curry or chewing on a pizza on the step machine.

“That’s not a workout.” A workout is only a workout if Jordan sweats. Says she: “If I don’t sweat then I’m not doing a good job.”

So, she sees keeping fit as a job. And it’s a job Jordan can do from home. She and Pete have just had a gym installed.

Well, it’s so much less tempting than a pizza oven…’

Posted: 21st, November 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink