Anorak News | Terror In The Classroom

Terror In The Classroom

by | 24th, November 2005

‘WHAT with Jordan’s wedding, a dead parrot and Wayne Rooney in the kitchen, the War On Terror has been forced to take a back seat of late.

When good kids go bad

But now it’s back. “WAR ON TERROR,” says the Sun’s headline, “Samantha, 10, banned from school 30 times.”

Surely this is some mistake. Samantha sounds like a domestic name for a girl. What happened to manly Osama and Omar? Has the war on terror taken a sinister new turn, now embracing beardless young girls in its bloody claws?

Worse still, this war on terror is taking place not in far away Iraq, Afghanistan or Tipton, but at Siskin Junior School, Rowner, Hampshire.

This sounds dangerously close. Not for no reason is the story all over the Mirror’s front-page. “A TINY TERROR,” announces the paper, the words hanging like a bloody stain above a shot of blonde Samantha Holt.

Such a nefarious presence is young Holt that the aforesaid school has already suspended her 30 times.

But before we hear of her crimes, the Mirror has a few words with her mum, hairdresser Tracy Holt. “I don’t have time to be strict,” says Tracy. Mum says that while little Samantha is at school, she is the responsibility of the teachers. It’s a case of out of sight, out of mind, and, er, out of school.

But what of Samantha’s heinous crimes? How did she become embroiled in the global war on terror?

Though weapons of mass destruction have yet to be found in Samantha’s school bag, the Mail says she did once brandish a pair of scissors in a threatening manner.

Wars have indeed been fought over less. And when we learn that Samantha has behaved aggressively, climbed the gym bars and refused to get down, sworn at a teacher when asked to put her pencil down and climbed through a classroom window, we realise the full menace of this young demon.

But what to do. Tracy tells the Mail that suspending Samantha only makes things worse. “She sees not going to school as a treat. She hates school, so for her it is not a punishment at all.”

The solution seems clear. If Samantha’s not at school then it is most likely she’s at home. Call in the bombers. An insurgent’s home must be destroyed. This is war…’

Posted: 24th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink