Anorak News | Princess Of Whales

Princess Of Whales

by | 24th, January 2006

‘THE tale of Wally the Whale was ever a London story.

‘Is this the Princess Diana fountain, mate?’

Had Wally gone sightseeing in New York, he’d have been seen as an illegal alien and taken to Cuba for questioning; in Tokyo he’d have been diced into cubes and dipped in wasabi; and in Pairs he’d have been given a medal and put in charge of the EU’s fishing policy group.

In London, Wally could be himself. Sure, a crowd formed on a few of the bridges that span the Thames and along the river’s banks, but they were casual observers, killing some dead time.

Apart, that is, from the team of volunteers who jumped into the chill waters and tried to save the whale.

We are not heartless here at Anorak Towers, and would dearly have loved Wally to have survived. But we can’t help but think Wally should have been left alone.

It might have been her dying wish to see London before she died. She had only to swim on a little further to realise her lifelong dream of seeing the home of her beloved Fulham FC when she found herself strapped to a stinking barge and heading for Tilbury.

Wally died within sight of the open sea. She has been sliced up for medical research. The Sun says her bones will be presented to the Natural history Museum. How very humane. How very caring.

As such, we like to think that in some small way Wally has had the last laugh. The Mail says that all Wally’s rescuers got for their efforts was a flurry of parking tickets.

Three members of the British Divers Marine Rescue Group were given tickets for leaving their vehicles near Albert Bridge.

“WHALE RESCUERS FINE 300 SQUID,” puns the Sun, tallying up the fines.

We trust these fines will be paid. And that the money spent on a fitting tribute to Wally. How about a sign at the entrance to the Thames. Something like “Abandon hope all ye Whales who enter here” should do it.’

Posted: 24th, January 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink