Anorak News | Going For A Thong

Going For A Thong

by | 1st, March 2006

‘HAVING given full throat to such issues as bird flu, the war on terror and Chantelle’s hair, the Sun’s Page 3 babe is now busying herself with the burning question of the day: “Has the thong all gone Pete Tong?”

Hello boy shorts

For those of you not versed in rhyming slang, Pete Tong means wrong, and the story is whether or not the bottom has fallen out of the market for cheese-wire knickers.

As the Express says over a double-page spread, illustrated by a shot of Penny Lancaster in a thong, sales of the so-called boy shorts have now overtaken those of the “notorious thong”.

So, is it time to follow the fashion trend and ditch that thong? “YES,” says the Express’s knicker expert Jennifer Selway. “Who wants to spend the day chafed by a nylon lanyard?” she asks, a question that invokes images of the writer being dragged backwards by an impromptu yank on her manmade love handles.

Selway’s argument is countered by Flic Everett. “NO,” says she. Thongs might look “tawdry and cheap”, but “is that such a terrible thing”?

“Show me a pair of giant cotton pants and I’ll show you a woman whose sex life is less stimulating than a lecture on quantum physics,” says Everett. She concludes: “Big knickers…are a sign of having given up.”

While Express readers wonder what comes first, the big knickers or the libido the size of an atom, the Sun throws Page 3 Nicola T into “THE GREAT UNDIES DEBATE”.

Dressed first in a thong then in a pair of boy shorts, Nicola researches the issue like a true professional. “Where pants are concerned, less is more,” says she.

Erica Davies, the Sun’s fashion editor, is unconvinced. “Personally,” says she, “I’m big on boy shorts.” And, perhaps, even big in them, too.

But with the debate being tugged this way and that, perhaps we should let a man have the last word.

“Boy shorts are the undies equivalent of wallpaper and paste,” says Derek Brown, the Sun’s deputy features editor, “good for covering up those lumpy surfaces and unsightly cracks.”

And not half bad at filling up newspapers…’

Posted: 1st, March 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink