Anorak News | The Thong Debate

The Thong Debate

by | 8th, March 2006

‘MANY voices have spoken on the great thong debate, but few have really understood the issue and made it their own.

The apple-catchers of Wayne’s eye

So when we hear that Coleen McLoughlin, Wayne Rooney’s lover, won’t wear a thong, we are as expectant as we are excited.

Coleen has only just recently told us that Wayne thinks her bum looks too big in her baggy and shapeless Juicy Couture tracksuits. Her inside take on knickers promises much.

Coleen says she is far from surprised that a new report says women are ditching thongs in favour of the more expansive boys shorts-style pants.

“I’m not surprised,” says Coleen. “I only wear a G-string if I’m wearing something tight. Otherwise I prefer proper pants as they’re much more flattering.”

“Proper pants”, as Coleen is wont to call them, “show off her figure better.” The Star says Coleen hardly ever wears “sexy undies” for her man.

But here the paper is sadly wrong. Big knickers can be sexy. And, given the lurid allegations that Rooney cheated on Coleen with a 48-year-old prostitute known as Auld Slapper, a grandmother, the danger is that Coleen’s knickers are not big enough…’

Posted: 8th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink