Anorak News | Go Figure

Go Figure

by | 13th, March 2006

‘WHAT happens to the weight celebrities lose? Is it stored in some giant vat in a secret Hollywood location, ready to be piped into the local water supply, thereby giving everyone a taste of what it is to be famous?

How does she do it?

Until a roll of fat gets an agent and tells all, we may never know. But in the meantime we are free to ogle Kelly Osbourne’s new slimmer look.

As OK! writes, Osbourne has lost 2st. “Can you believe it?” asks Kelly. Without Fat Kelly to back up her story, we will have to take new-look Kelly’s word for it.

And, judging by the magazine’s before and after shots, there is indeed now less of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne’s youngest child at large.

But how did she mange it? “It’s funny,” says Kelly, “because everyone thinks I’ve been down the gym – but can you honestly see me working out?”

No. So what is the secret? Well, there isn’t one, at least not according to Kelly’s spokesperson. “Kelly looks great but there is no secret to her weight loss,” says he. She goes on: “Since moving back to the UK, her diet has naturally become healthier.”

Excuse us? Since when has moving from California to Britain been a journey towards better eating?

This is the land that gave the world the deep-fried Mars bar, chips and the fried slice. The land whose people pour out of theme pubs tanked up on additive-laced day-glo alcopops to munch on fat-encrusted horse/cow/sheep/donkey/goat/squirrel warmed on revolving sticks or something served hot from a van? This land has healthier eating than California, where the raisins and sushi rolls come from!

You still think there’s no secret to Kelly’s weight loss? Can you believe it?’

Posted: 13th, March 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink