Families Reunited

‘CAN it really be to two years since Coleen McLoughlin turned 18? Our training in GCSE maths tells us it must be because Wayne Rooney’s chavtastic lover has just turned 20.

Two years ago, Coleen’s party took in a do at Liverpool’s Devonshire House hotel – and a fight when the birthday girl’s dad and three of his friends took on Rooney’s uncle Eugene and father Wayne Snr.

This time Coleen was taking no chances. As the Mail says, the McLoughlins and the Rooneys have massed in two separate Liverpool venues. They were reminded that this was a party not a rematch before being bundled into separate vans and driven to the Manchester venue.

The only time the two sets of supporters communicated on the hour-long driver was when the two drivers flashed their lights at each other. Consulting the Morse Code handbook we realise that in the course of this illuminated exchange, Wayne’s dad might have called Coleen’s old fella something unsavoury, while Coleen senior questioned what kind of man is called Eugene.

But we digress, and return to see the travelling fans arrive at the Lounge Ten restaurant. The place has been done up to look like the Moulin Rouge. And, as the Mail says, Coleen’s pals have entered into the spirit of the Parisian red light district’s famous nightclub with “cleavages wobbling” and “thighs straining against skinny jeans”.

Loosened up on alcopops and larger, the birthday girl, assorted Waynettas and non-fighting men settle down to a meal of foie gras, crème brulee and sautéed scallop and salmon starters, chased by a main course of lamb, beef or caramelised skate.

This is all helped on its way by lashing of fine wine and vintage champagne. And to burn off any excess, there is dancing to the syncopated strains of two singers belting out Billy Holiday and Frank Sinatra classics.

Coleen then plugs in the karaoke machine and sings a Girls Aloud Song. Wayne burst balloons, inhales helium and does a passable impression of David Beckham.

And a cake covered in miniature carrier bags is unveiled. The Sun has a shot of this cake, which features small plastic bags from some of Coleen favourite shops (Gucci, Chloe, Prada and Primark).

Coleen is delighted. The band strikes up and the entire room bursts into a rendition of New York New York and My Way before the guests stumble into waiting minibuses and make the journey back to Liverpool.

As a source tells the Mirror: “Col seemed quite embarrassed – but too happy to care.” Well, it is a whole year before she has to see everyone again…’

Posted: 4th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink