The Thick Of The Action

‘“ROONEY should remember the inviolable rule of bookmaking – a losing punter always pays his debts”. So says The Mail’s Paul Hayward.

As we heard yesterday, Wayne Rooney, for it is he, is refusing to pay the £700,000 he apparently owes the private Goldchip bookmaker for betting on horses and greyhounds. La Roon thinks it was less than fair that no-one told him chasing your losses was a mug’s game – so much for inviolable rules.

And Rooney is especially angry with Michael Owen. Alongside a shot of England’s two strikers racing go carts, the Mail says Goldchip Ltd is run by one Stephen Smith, a business partner of Owen’s. This leads to the Mail telling of a “RIFT” between the two players and “WORLD CUP DISASTER”.

And then there is Coleen McLoughlin. Over in the Mirror, readers are treated to a photo story of the type that features in teenage magazines.

“Wot’s goin’ on Wayne?” asks Coleen in a speech bubble. “Me ‘ousekeeping’s short and me credit card’s bin refused at Tesco’s.”

“Sorry luv,” says Wayne. “When they said d’you wants more chips I thought they meant me dinner.”

From being England’s brightest star, the one who will send the country into raptures as he refulgently slams that ball into a German goal in this summer’s World Cup, Rooney is now portrayed as a mentally negligible loser.

While Rooney tries to outwit a goalpost, we read in the Sun that his penchant for gambling may be curtailed during team England’s stay at their Baden Baden hotel.

The Sun says that the German venue is famous for its casino, and the inviolable rule is that no-one under the age of 21 is allowed inside.

In case Rooney can’t understand that rule, nor count to 21, the paper says that England manager Sven Goran Eriksson has warned him against attending.

Which makes us wonder what young Wayne will be up to? No drinking. No gambling. What’s a young man in the wilds of Germany to do?

The Star has one idea. As its front-page headline says: “ENGLAND’S TOP STARS ADDICTED TO WEB SEX.”

And just think how many hours online you could buy for £700,000…’

Posted: 11th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink