Anorak News | Two Timer

Two Timer

by | 26th, April 2006

‘FIGHTER, Jag owner, integrated transport policymaker, inventor of languages – John Prescott is a man of many talents. And now he is a lover.

Has the man no shame?

The Mirror brings news that John Prescott has enjoyed a two-year affair with one of his secretaries. She’s called Tracey Temple. She’s 43 years of age. She’s a blonde.

“I did have a relationship with her which I regret,” says Prezza. “It ended some time ago. I have discussed this fully with my wife Pauline who is devastated by the news.”

Poor Pauline. Like us, we believed the new Labour message that they would be “whiter than white”. Wives of Labour ministers would not endure the same agonies as their Tory predecessors.

They would not stand at the gate of the family home with their man, like toe-jobber David Mellor’s wronged spouse; nor be forced to get off with their man in public, like Piers Merchant’s poor wife.

Labour would be good and true. How we sighed from the heart when a few years back Prescott summoned one of his fleet of Jags to take his good lady the 100-yards from Bournemouth hotel to conference centre lest the wind disrupt her hair. Hang the environment – make way love.

But now it seems that if Labour learnt anything from watching the Tories implode, it was to be more discreet – if they learned anything at all.

Just listen to Prescott’s statement: ‘I have discussed this fully with my wife Pauline who is devastated by the news. I would be grateful if Pauline and I can now get on with our lives together.’

He wants them to be left alone. This is an intensely private matter. Sure he’s been shagging his secretary at his grace-and-favour apartment in Whitehall – perhaps even cheating when he should have been working for us – but it is none of our business. It is a matter for Prezza, his wife, Tracey and her lorry driver lover Barrie Williams.

“I feel sick,” says Williams, who lives with Tracey. “I can’t believe the woman I wanted to marry slept with John Prescott. I’ve been betrayed by one of the most powerful men in the UK.”

Barrie goes on: “She even had the cheek to ask me to marry her just two days after they first had sex.” He recalls how Tracey began complaining about her commute to work in London from their Hampshire home. She decided to rent a flat in the capital to ease the burden.

“Now I’m, thinking the rented flat was a smokescreen,” says Barrie. He says that Tracey even visited Prescott’s official country retreat in Dorneywood, Buckinghamshire. “I can’t help worrying what was going on there,” says Barrie.

We can only hope for Barrie’s sake that no dalliance took place in his home. Barrie is a Chelsea fan, and the idea of Prescott romping in the team’s strip with his mistress is too awful to contemplate. And oddly familiar…’

Posted: 26th, April 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink