Anorak News | Birds Of Passage

Birds Of Passage

by | 2nd, May 2006

‘TWO swallows may not make a summer, but a picture of Anna Kournikova on the front page of one of the tabloids is proof positive that warmer weather is on its way.

Spot the racquet

So tie a knot in your handkerchief and break out the factor 30 because the woman who put the Phwoar in Phwoar-nikova graces the front-page of this morning’s Express.

But wait: could that slightly dishevelled Russian blonde really be the one-time tennis smasher or is she one of the “hundreds of thousands of extra East European workers set to flood into Britain”?

“Britain is opening the door to more migrants,” screams the paper’s headline, but news is that Anna is now so shockingly thin that she can fit through a crack in the doorframe.

Gone, says the paper, is her famously athletic build – the wide tennis player’s shoulders, six pack and toned musclature.

In its place are a frighteningly gaunt frame, jutting collarbones and the bony knees of a prepubescent supermodel.

Her stick-thin arms look unable to support the weight of the glittering rocks hanging loosely off her fingers, let alone deliver a powerful serve of wind-whistling velocity.

Indeed, all that remains of the old Anna are hundreds of thousands of pictures that can mark the start of summer for years to come…’

Posted: 2nd, May 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink