Anorak News | Yes, We Have No Bananas

Yes, We Have No Bananas

by | 29th, May 2006

Here is a selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…


“Cut-price tummy tick that nearly killed me” – Kelly Hodge tells us how she had too much skin removed in Duesseldorf

“BANANA-GEDDON! – A favourite of Alexander the Great, they’re Britain’s most popular fruit. Now a deadly new disease could wipe out our bananas for ever” – Was Alexander British?

“Our society has sold its soul when even Royals bow before the cult of celebrity” – Melanie Philips is aghast and dismayed as Prince Charles meets the hellish Ant ‘n’ Dec

“Why planet Earth is facing disaster, by Attenborough” – David Attenborough peers out from behind a bush and whispers that we are all doomed



“Painkillers ‘increase risk of heart failure’” – Researchers say painkillers like ibuprofen might increase risk of heart problems in some older patients

“One day she was so healthy. The next we were cradling Daisy’s little body. Only then did we discover the curse she’d been born with” – Parents tell of how their daughter died from an infection

“Bizarre eating disorder nearly killed my sister” – Holby City’s Colette Brown talks about her sister’s Prader-Willi Syndrome” – it “causes sufferers to eat so much they die from obesity-related problems”

“My husband said real men don’t wear sun cream. Now I’m a skin cancer widow”



“Why sleepless nights can means piling on the pounds” – Researchers say women who don’t get enough sleep might be more likely to put on weight



“The killing blade – Lethal Star Trek sword seized in knives amnesty – It is a particularly nasty weapon that can, literally, take someone’s head off,” say police who are handed a copy of a 5ft-long Klingon weapon

“TV experts’ time-outs ‘could turn your toddler into a bully’” – Professor Margot Sunderland says the naughty step is the road to “severe neurosis” and “serous damage to their [children’s] brains”

“Just one cigarette can hook you for life” – Take a puff when you’re 11 and get the habit, say researchers at Cancer Research UK



“Why prostrate surgery can do more harm than good”

Posted: 29th, May 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink