Drought To Worry About
EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die.
Here is a selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…
MONDAY
“Turning grannies into mothers should make us all profoundly uneasy” – This week the “profoundly uneasy” Melanie Phillips is “profoundly uneasy” about the birth of a baby boy by IVF to 62-year-old Patti Farrant
“Why middle-class girls are more likely to binge drink” – Well, they do have more money and a mum with a car to pick them up
“Why Thailand and Mexico are hotspots for holiday horror” – So says research by Norwich Union insurance firm. Oh, and try to avoid Iraq and Afghanistan too.
TUESDAY
“Passport fiasco could force thousands to miss holidays” – Why anyone should want to leave this gilded land, heaven only know
WEDNESDAY
“Sorry chaps, but you’re utterly redundant (That’s what feminists and scientists believe – and humanity can go to hell)” – Less women and more football and pubs for men. Terrible.
“Population ‘could hit 70m unless we get a grip on immigration’” – Government advisor Lord Turner is right. And it could go to 80m, 90m 100m and so on.
“We were mugged by hoodies, Mr Cameron, so PLEASE don’t ask us to hug them – As David Cameron flaunts his compassion, seven horrifying stories that should make him think again”
THURSDAY
“Squabbling parents ‘send their children off the rails’” – Researchers at the Australian University say rowing can turn children on to drugs and delinquency
“Public ‘not warned’ on peril of cannabis” – Professor Murray of the Institute of Psychiatry obviously doesn’t think enough of the public read the Mail
One in five takeaways is a threat to your health” – The other four in five are rendered harmless by lashings of alcohol
“Morning sickness cold be a sign mum is eating badly” – Or Liverpool University researchers may be wrong
“Year of the mozzie” – More foreign invaders
“Goodbye Orion and the Great Bear. Hello Big Brother and Kylie…how London’s world famous attraction dumbed down star gazing. What on earth have they done to the Planitarium” – Robert Hardman visits the tourist attraction that no Londoner over the age of eight ever goes to
“Women pay a health price for working long hours” – So say researchers, who will never die out
FRIDAY
“Quack malaria potions endanger lives” – Take the drugs
DROUGHT? WHAT DROUGHT? Worried about water shortages? We revisited some of the most parched places in Britain during the 1976 drought – and found them deep UNDER water today” – see Wednesday’s Mail: “How the long, dry spell is shrinking our greatest river [the Thames] to a trickle”
“We asked Joan Bakewell to go undercover in a teenage chatroom. She found a world that lets youngsters live out their dreams – but also leaves them at the mercy of sinister predators – THE CHATROOM MINEFIELD” – Aged Mail writer pretends to a young girl on the web. For shame!
Posted: 16th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
