Anorak News | Pony Tale

Pony Tale

by | 12th, September 2006

UNLESS you are a wealthy Royal or a four-foot-tall Irishman, chances are that you will never know the thrill of competitive equestrianism.

The only way you can gain entry to this coterie of the racing elite is to be very rich or very talented at the sport. Preferably both. You need to be a winner. And if that means winning at all costs, then so be it.

Mindful of this we turn to the Mail which brings pressing news from the Pony Club.

As the paper says, the “competitive spirit runs deep” in this bastion of middle class mores.

And things might have gone a little further than before. Kim Baudains, marshalling Josh Baudains, her 11-yer-old son, is to be questioned by the police following allegations that drugs have entered the field of play.

Let it not be said that Kim has been doping her son’s rivals, spiking their isotonic sports drinks with laxatives or Coca Cola. Perish the thought. Neither has Josh been pumped full of steroids and THT. This is pony riding, not athletics. The allegation is that she has been tampering with the horses.

It is alleged that Mrs Baudains fed fast-acting sedatives to ponies.

It was a qualifying round of the British Showjumping Association’s junior championships at St Lawrence, Jersey, and 30 riders were ready to do battle.

Competition was fierce. And the allegation is that to make it less fierce, sedate even, Mrs Baudains fed “mints” to a number of ponies. It is further alleged that an owner of two ponies saw a “mint” fall from one animal’s mouth. And on closer inspection it was found to be a not-all-that-minty acetylpromazine sedative tablet.

Blood samples were taken. Mrs Baurdains was reduced to floods of tears. A spokesman for the suspect explains: “This is in our solicitor’s hands. It’s very upsetting, particularly for Josh.”

Yes poor Josh. According to a source, Josh has a few ponies, not just one. He also has “an over-ambitious mother”.

But let us not forget the real victims here. And our thoughts are with poor Flying Sunbeam, who was so worse for wear he needed assistance to be loaded into a trailer to take him back home, French Mustard, Dromard Gizmo and Chloe Coote.

Tally ho, trusty steeds. Tally ho!

Posted: 12th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink