Anorak News | Tom Cruise Controls Beckham

Tom Cruise Controls Beckham

by | 13th, November 2006

MISSION Impossible: Turn David Beckham into a star of the silver-screen.

The former England football captain is already a matinee idol, notably when Real Madrid play a lunchtime kick-off. But can the man who lent his name to a film (Bend It Like Beckham) make it in Hollywood?

The Star ponders the question and says that a “leading showbiz tycoon” has plans to create Day-vid in the manner of an action hero. The tycoon is Robert Sillerman. He’s the billionaire behind the Broadway hit The Producers, the show about a show that has to fail. He thinks Beckham will make it.

David has the looks to succeed. And he has the strength. Remember how Becks took out Diego Simeone in the 1998 World with the merest flick of his trained, tanned and toned leg?

If former footballer Vinny Jones can be a film actor, then why not Beckham? Hell, why not the man who holds the coat of the man who paints the lines on the pitch at Accrington Stanley. Jones gives hope to us all.

And Becks has a notable ally in Tinseltown. It’s Tom Cruise. And the Star says that should Becks go to Los Angeles, he is likely to team up with the actor.

There goes Tom now. The Mirror looks on as the star watches his 13-year-old daughter Isabella pretend to be Beckham in a football match.

While Isabella bends it, ties her hair back and wonders if her new gold boots do her legs justice, Tom goes to the toilet. The paparazzi take note. Cameras flash. A small boy is scared and cries. The boy’s mother starts “laying into” Tom. An onlooker says: “Maybe he forgets he is not the only one affected by his celebrity status.”

Indeed. Where Cruise leads, many others follow. And it cannot be too long before Tom’s fans are aping his wedding.

The Beckhams are likely to be guests at the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. They will look on as Tom gives the blushing bride a comb and a cat.

The Sun says these gifts are parts of the traditional Scientology service. And then there are the minister’s words. Pray silence for: “Girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills. A pan, a comb, perhaps a cat.”

How Katie uses these goods is open to interpretation. And we fear the cat in being groomed for the family table and his ‘n’ her kitten mittens.

And all the while, Dave will be looking on. His nascent career as an action hero is already being put to the test. Who does he rescue first – the bride or the cat?

The clock is ticking…

Posted: 13th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink