Anorak News | Middleton’s Pap

Middleton’s Pap

by | 11th, January 2007

KATE Middleton – enjoy her why you can.

Rupert Murdoch’s media empire has stated that it will no longer use paparazzi pictures of Prince William’s gelfriend.

Kate will be free to collect parking tickets, undress in a changing room and wear a bikini away from the long lenses of the Sun’s celebrity snappers.

For now, though, Hello! is not part of the Murdoch stable. And it is free to lead with a picture of Middleton.

This is a chance to see the “new–look Kate Middleton”. And what a look it is. Kate has taken to walking about in a red spandex boob tube and matching knickers. A tame ermine hangs around her neck. Her face is painted in shades of blue and gold. She insists on walking backwards and only in straight lines.

But the photograph of this shift in style may never come to light. Instead, readers see Kate in a black coat flecked with silver dots.

Hello! notes that Kate seems to be putting her distinctive stamp onto her look – “much like William’s mother Diana did before her.”

Or she could be nothing like Diana. As we say, photographs of Kate wearing a leotard as she works out in a gymnasium and a bikini as she takes in the tropical waters may be harder to spot. If Kate is to be the new Diana she may have to do it in an overcoat.

And she should tread carefully. As Princess Diana’s former private secretary Patrick Jephson tells us: “Miss Middleton’s 2007 stretches ahead of her like an enchanted garden. But it’s not so much a garden as a maze…full of enticing avenues that lead to thorny dead ends.”

Kate’s life could turn into a nightmare, and a prickly cul-de-sac. Indeed, she seems to be walking around in a mobile dead end, situated as she is in the centre of a walking gazebo of ten police officers.

Kate and her lover are pictured on their way to London’s Boujis nightclub, and the police are ensuring that she does not meet any thorns and prickles on the way.

And it’s going to plan. And… Oh, dear! That looks nasty. Pictures to follow…

Posted: 11th, January 2007 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink