Who Bares Sins: SAS Action With Tania Zaetta, Andy McNab And John Terry
TANIA Zaetta is, says the Sun, best known in Australia for hosting her daredevil action girl show Who Dares Wins.
In papers released by the Australian MoD, four members of that country’s special forces claim to have bedded Tania on her moral boosting trip to Afghanistan – “and had photos and video to prove it”.
Ms Zaetta denies all claims.
In such moments it is customary for the Sun to summon its shadowy Defence Expert Andy McNab and hear what visiting celebs and glamour models can and cannot do in the battle zone.
But McNab is otherwise employed, dispatched on a mission to answer the question:
“FOOTBALL hardman John Terry blubbed like a baby after his scuffed spot-kick helped lose Chelsea the Champions League trophy in a nail-biting shootout. But is it ever okay for sportsmen to cry?”
McNab, who last cried when he wanted to test if the canoe he’d fashion from a hollowed out Iraqi was seaworthy says:
“It’s as though the minute they are down they become exposed for the wimps they really are.
If Terry had buried that penalty he would have been punching the air, getting in the faces of the Man Utd players and acting like the big man.
Instead he sits down and sobs like a toddler who has lost its mum. It’s the biggest cry – literally – for attention I have ever seen.
And should Terry be looking for a new career after his football failure, McNab offers a cautionary: “And I tell you this – you wouldn’t find any of Terry’s blubbing antics in the SAS.”
Or shagging celebs in his Hummer…
Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Tabloids, Wags & Players Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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May 24th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
4 Mic
Tania was caught mucking in the fountain!
I love a story with goats in it
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:23 pm
M&A. Thanks for that, I read in such a haphazard way, in snatches, probably like you might, so I missed out on that entirely.
That is a very moving petition, and I’m proud to sign it, thanks for pointing me in that direction.
Don’t agree with the war, it’d be a long post, but anyone that sacrifices so much, and even those that suffer and live unscathed deserve tribute. That’s coming from a dyed in the wool Communist, and I’ve also talked to Ex-Red Army Guardsmen they agree, it’s a scandal how some on the left treat those young men and women over here.
They are working class people that choose to go to the army rather than be unemployed and/or turn to more indolent ways like crime. People like that should be applauded and we should hang fire for whatever politician it is that sends them in there so casually and badly prepared.
Morituri te salutant. In any democracy, even our crappy one, the reverse also should be true, I think that’s what My Great Grandfather fought and miraculously survived for.
At least they got the homes for heroes though, eh?
M and A
Indeed they did!
political choices don’t really matter in this issue anyway, the Iraqi invasion was immoral and just served two self serving politicians pride as ‘International statesmen’
But we all know the servicemen involved would do their utmost to protect this country, and they were sent at great cost to themselves in terms of flesh and blood, and their remains deserve respect, as do their families.
Thankyou for signing
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:08 pm
oooh! Caught by the goatherds…nasty.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Brilliant Chenier.
Wouldn’t you cry too after a couple of years swanning around CFC like you own the place, help in getting Jose the sack, 130 thousand a week, captain fantastic and… you miss…
On a less satirical note, I’ve read a lot about 20th Century war, especially on the Russian front, which even McNab would have to admit was “no picnic” what with everyone saving the last bullet for themselves, since no prisoners were taken or quarter given, nor expected, unlike on the Western Front where they used to all get on the radio to each other to arrange breaks in the fighting to treat the wounded and the Orderlies used to treat whoever it was, based on who they found first.
I read a lot of reminiscences on what men said as they died. I observed that with the vast majority, they mentioned their Mums as last words, a few mentioned wives or Girlfriends.
This is the reality of war and fighting. Brave men who gave everything and deserve to be commemorated, but such things never make it onto the memorials or apparently in McNab’s cartoon world.
Real men cry, real men call for their Mums when they are dying.
Terry is still a massive waste of space though, but really that’s a bit Rum from people like McNab who make a living from kissing and telling and betraying their regiment (and nation, and the Official Secrets act), hence none of the lads from Hereford that I ever met owning him as one of their own.
M and A
Petronius,
I wonder if it would interest you, I have put a Petition in the forums for Govt to pay better tribute to militia being repartriated, and to accompany them home. After all they were pretty keen on sending them out….
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Or they get caught by a goatherd…
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
“And I tell you this – you wouldn’t find any of Terry’s blubbing antics in the SAS.”
thats because they only cry when people steal their ipods.