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Anorak | Cake Nazi: No Cake For You Little Adolf Hitler Campbell

Cake Nazi: No Cake For You Little Adolf Hitler Campbell

by | 17th, December 2008

HAPPY birthday, Adolf Hitler!

For he’s a jolly good…

It’s master (race) Hitler’s third birthday. A grinning blur of blond hair and blue-eyes, Hitler is celebrating his third birthday in some style.

Dad’s daubed the house with swastikas and Adolf Hitler Campbell, the middle child of three, paints a picture which he plans to exhibit in place of a Van Gogh at the Cohen-Levi Centre for the arts in New York City.

Adolf has two sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie. The latter, just eight months old, was named after dyslexic Nazi leader Heinrich Himmler.

“They’re just names, you know,” says father Heath Campbell in the Easton Express-Times. “Yeah, they (the Nazis) were bad people back then. But my kids are little. They’re not going to grow up like that.”

Hey, Nazis can change. And who does not live out ther dreams through their kids, although encouraging him to create a 1,000 years Commonwealth,  kill all the Jews, enslave the Slavs and rape China is beiong a bit pushy.

But Anorak reveals the words of the elder Mrs Mengele who looked at her little darling and opined in her journal:

Josef ist such ein sveet child, he vuld not hurt ein fly. I vill buy him ein doktor’s kit zo develop his heeling nature.

So to the story, and a branch of ShopRite in Holland Township, N.J. Hitler needs a cake, one that says “Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler.”

His request is refused. Do your own icing.

“Other kids get their cake,” says Campbell. “I get a hard time. It’s not fair to my children. How can a name be offensive?”

But shopkeeper Yukan Fukov will have none of it. Mr Campbell will have to provide no cake for his Kinder or else back one in the oven, which, of course, he denies having and says never existed…

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Posted: 17th, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink