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Anorak | 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Farting, With Paris Hilton And Barack Obama

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Farting, With Paris Hilton And Barack Obama

by | 6th, January 2009

FARTING is sure to catch on. And to be prepared, here are Anorak’s Top Facts About Farting:

1. Barack Obama was schooled in Indonesia, where farting is considered an art form on a par with finger painting.

2. In times of recession, sales of baked beans and vegetables and raisins soar. Scientists at the North American Institute Of Global Warming calculate that the Arctic began to break up in the 1970s, when, ironically, power cuts and the three day week were at their height.

3. The Whoppee cushion if now advocated as an alternative power supply. In 1988, Richard Branson’s attempt to circumnavigate the globe by hot air balloon was met by near disaster when it crashed in the Pacific Ocean. Branson and Steve Fossett were kept afloat by the fluke of Per Lindstrand having eaten a packet of Christmas dates.

4. Ms Sue Storer, then a deputy headmistress at Bedminster Down secondary school, Bristol, was “forced to quit” her £48,000 a year job because of her chair. As the art teacher explained: “It was very embarrassing to sit on. I asked for a chair that didn’t give me a dead leg or make those embarrassing farting sounds.” From that day on, all art teachers have shunned leatherette chairs in favour of bean bags.

Note: any picture can be improived by the caption “Who farted?”

5. The composition of fart gas is highly variable, consisting of carbon dioxide, sulfur, hydrogen and methane. The Spanish produce the most methane, the Germans the most Co2. Libyans the most sulfur and Bolivians the most hydrogen.

6. A nervous person who swallows a lot of air has a lot of oxygen in his farts. For such reasons Gordon Brown, aka gulping Gordon the guppy” has petitioned Westminster to be allowed to address the Commons with his back to the Opposition, a departure from protocol attempted by pea enthusiast John Major in 1998. Not for no reason

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Posted: 6th, January 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink