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Anorak | Bunny Boyler: Susan Boyle Checks Into Rehab

Bunny Boyler: Susan Boyle Checks Into Rehab

by | 1st, June 2009

amy-winehouse-boyleSUSAN Boyle, the moral, spiritual and fiscal force of the age has checked into The Priory home for tired and emotional stars.

There she will meet and greet celebrities and remind them that following Jimmy Tarbuck and The Shadows on a Royal Variety Performance is not the be all and end all of life. What’s better – a comedy skit with Noel Edmonds or a lifetime supply of prescription drugs? No contest.

But the story of Susan Nightingale is masked in  news that Susan Boyle is “exhausted and emotionally drained“.

The cosmic force that has salved the world’s ills has left her weak.

A pox on Diversity’s kryptonite!

Backstage, Boyle, reportedly, screams: “I hate this show.” She is said to swear and throw a cup of water over a floor manager who tries to calm her down.

The Celebrity Police Force attend and now a Met spokeswoman tells us that doctors had been assessing a woman under the Mental Health Act.

She has “voluntarily” checked into The Priory.

She didn’t look well – she looked lost, not all there.”

A source at the clinic said last night: “I was having a cigarette break when a whole load of ambulances arrived.

“Everyone was saying, ‘Who’s that’? Then I saw her and it was Susan Boyle. I was gobsmacked.”

Says Sacha Baron Cohen:

“Is that the one she looks like she had a terrible accident. I hope she gets better soon.”

And within the Priory a Hairy Angel walks the wards…



Posted: 1st, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (21) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink