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Anorak | Peter Andre Hit For Six As Katie Price Goes Mad in Dorset

Peter Andre Hit For Six As Katie Price Goes Mad in Dorset

by | 17th, August 2009

3178269KATIE Price and Peter Andre Divorce – Jordan goes mad in Dorset, Superdad Peter Andre is badly beaten by the Black Eyed Peas and sobs his way to a new relaity TV show…

EACH morning the Daily Star’s drones must think of a new Katie Price story, and today the team duly delivers, “Jordan’s out of control”.

Readers learn:

A close friend of the model, who suffered a miscarriage shortly before the break-up, said: “Kate has only cried once since she split from Peter. That’s just not normal.”

Given the amount of cosmetic work performed on Katie Price’s face and superstructure tears may not come easy. To seep, she may need to be squeezed. Inside, Katie may be sobbing her heart out. And what is normal – “Pete’s one-off documentary about their split, Going It Alone, airs tonight on ITV2 and sees him burst into tears a whopping TEN times?

And then there is the possibility that the “close friend” is not all that close?

The kids and camera crews are at stake, people, and we should stick to the facts, lest we award our sympathies to the wrong party. To surmise:

“But Peter is now at a great stage where he realises his music is a success and he is mad about his kids. He knows he is an amazing father and that is one thing Kate can never take away.”

Peter Andre the Superdad is now an established fact. Anorak believes Peter should be made the UN Ambassador for Dadhood and his name appear in the box on every birth certificate, giving mums an alternative to naming the “sperm donor” (source: Jeremy Kyle lexicon). Other dads can call 0800 PETE for tips on daddying and receive a free tape recording of Peter Andre saying “I love you guys”, which they can play when stuck for words at bedtime.

But what’s this? Over in the Sun:

Our source added: “Pete’s music career means more than anything to him – but TV is still his bread and butter.”

The kids? What about the kids? Peter’s kids are his numbers one, right?

Well, his music is not our Number 1, more number four, pipped to the top spot by The Black Eyed Peas’ I Gotta Feeling (I’m Gonna Cry On Telly), and trumped by Tinchy Stryder’s Never Leave You (Unless I’m Forced To By Circumstances That Are Too Painful To Talk About On My New Six-Part Reality TV Show) and Scottish DJ Calvin Harris’ Ready For The Weekend (Visitation Rights Mix).

No, it’s the Peter Andre-ettes that are his number ones. In episode one of six of his fly-in-the-tissues reality TV show, Peter puts down the microphone:

Cameras follow him as he buys his son Junior a bike for his fourth birthday and daughter Princess Tiaamii appearing in fancy dress when she turns two.

Dads, take notes. There are questions later. Meanwhile, the Star tells us:

Kate went on a camping trip to the New Forest…

Katie Price goes mad in Dorset! Now, read on…



Posted: 17th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink