Strictly Come Dancing: Arlene Phillips Naked And Alesha Dixon Shot
STRICTLY Come Dancing: It’s the row the media are itching to call Arlene-gate and many viewers are calling dull – will Alesha Dixon find her own way to hold a card with a number from 1 to 10 written on?
S&M Come Dancing
Daily Mirror (front page): “STRICCTLY GAGGED- Exclusive: Clamp over Arlene”
And now appearing in the fetish Gimp dance, motor-mouthed point scorer extraordinaire Arlene Philips….
Arlene Phillips Is Dead
“Strictly-ites, who happily scoffed as Arlene stumbled clumsily over her painfully scripted flights of alliteration, suddenly insist they miss her more fervently than their deceased relatives.” – Vanessa Feltz
So no comment on Arlene Phillips, as the BBC directive commands. And as Alesha Dixon tells the Radio Times, the BBC’s TV schedules organ:
“Maybe people wanted to start a catfight. But I didn’t see it as an argument between Arlene and me. We were just caught in the middle. I haven’t even spoken to her about it. Why would I? Was I wounded by some of the comments? Sure. Some of them were very stereotypical and judgmental.”
Arms off the table when you’re talking, Alesha. Arms. Arms. Arms.
“When I read that I only won in 2007 because I was half-naked, I did take that seriously. That’s not someone offering a considered opinion, that’s someone being a bitch.”
For sure: a considered opinion on a reality-TV show dance contest that isn’t a real contest is dull; bitchiness is entertaining.
Wattle. Wattle. Bingo Wings!
ARLENE PHILLIPS acted with dignity when she spoke out in support of ALESHA DIXON – the half-her-age singer who replaced her as a judge on Strictly Come Dancing.
But here’s betting that in the privacy of her own home she danced naked through her living room while shouting ‘whoop whoop’ and punching the air – Martel Maxwell, The Sun
They Shoot Horses
The Sun (front page): “Dance show stretched to 2hrs 15 minutes – Strictlt bum-numbing”
Strictly – hosted by Bruce Forsyth – will run from 7pm to 9.15pm to feature dances by 14 couples in its third-round show. The X Factor starts at 8pm and finishes at the same time.
Last man still watching wins.
Alesha Dixon The Metaphor
YESTERDAY London traders were not downbeat at the prospect of a Lib Dem mansion tax on their docklands pads. No, the assumption that the party will ever get to power in any real sense is an oxymoron but talk of a so-called Tobin tax could be more vexing. Nobel prize-winning economist James Tobin first proposed a tax on currency trading as far back as 1972. The idea, like Alesha Dixon on Strictly Come Dancing, was received with mixed reviews and it was not until the dying decade of last century that a think-tank proffered the suggestion that such a tax could apply to all financial transactions – Tim Jenkins, Western Mail
Your Scores, Puh-leeeeze
ALESHA Dixon-bashing shows no signs of abating, with a staggering 900 viewers complaining about the poor old former Mis-teeq singer’s turn on Strictly Come Dancing – Sun
Strictly Come Dancing is already under fire, with nearly 5,000 fans complaining about 66-year-old judge Arlene Phillips being replaced by Alesha Dixon, 30 – Star
What would Alesha have done if her pop career hadn’t worked out? Well, she’d have probably been a PE teacher. “I was really good at sports and pretty bossy – the perfect combination. I even did a diploma in sports studies,” she admits. – DS
The Criticism Writes Itself
How I longed to hear her brisk verdict on Kristina Rihanoff and the human wardrobe that is Joe Calzaghe. Joe is a gorgeous bloke and a great boxer, but he is to dancing what David Miliband is to romantic comedy. Kristina, the Siberian siren, was doing everything she could to loosen Joe up, short of making him a father on the spot. Alas, it was still like moving bits of heavy machinery. Alesha’s verdict on the couple was: ‘You was smelling her hair. It looked like you were smelling her hair at one point.’
Pitiful. I felt embarrassed for her.
Briefed by her BBC minders, Alesha dismisses the criticism against her as ‘a storm in a teacup’. Some teacup. She’s going to be in hot water for a while yet - Allison Pearson
Alesha Dixon Is this Year’s John Sergeant
There’s some bloke off EastEnders; a muscle-bound behemoth from Crimewatch, the Oxo Mum, a couple of soap actresses, some sporting has-beens, and… oh, I can’t be bothered to go on. There’s no John Sergeant to care about, no Cherie Lunghi to root for, no Austin Healey to lust after. Where are the personalities? Where is the glamour? The sex appeal? Where is the talent – even if it’s the talent to fail magnificently? – Liz Hunt, Telegraph
Where is the talent…eh?