Susan Boyle Does Not Have Cancer And Not Mentally Ill

SUSAN Boyle Watch: IN “Susan Boyle on life, fame & thumb sucking” the NoTW’s Douglas Wight shows that he reads Anorak and comments on those photos of “crying” Susan Boyle sucking her thumb – the ones the Mail used to illustrate Boyle’s troubled state of mind.

Susan Boyle is doing fine. Eyewitnesses tell Anorak the truth in the comments section. But still the NoTW can’t resist sticking to the narrative of Susie Simple, the woman on the edge of a precipice:

SOARAWAY superstar Susan Boyle last night insisted she’s NOT on the verge of cracking up and insisted: “I’m happy and doing fine.”

How caring of the NoTW to lead with not news of Boyle’s hit album but a no-news story that she is NOT mentally ill. Look out for other exclusives that Susan Bouyle is also NOT suffering from cancer, NOT murdered in a car bomb and NOT suffering from adult acne.

After Susan Boyle was buried, Wight has more news:.

Fans feared the worst after photos emerged of the Scottish singer sucking her thumb in New York last week.

He means the time when she was sucking her thumb to make her fans laugh, which they did.

But SuBo - whose debut album I Dreamed A Dream is set to go in at No1 on both sides of the Atlantic tonight - told the News of the World she did it as a JOKE.

The NoTW goes on to tell it readers:

All her life Susan has been cruelly taunted with names like “Simple Susan” because of her mild learning disabilities.

No tabloid story on Susan Boyle must be published without mention of her weak mind and/or victim status – 11th Rule of Tabloid Journalism. Says she:

“I feel very content within myself, and as I’m finally achieving my dream I feel so lucky and privileged.”

Or as Douglas Wight puts it:

The spinster, who is enjoying a quiet weekend at home with her cat Pebbles in Blackburn, West Lothian, spent a spell in a Priory clinic after shooting to global stardom on Britain’s Got Talent last spring.

Then Wight’s “EXCLUSIVE” uses words we ‘ve heard before:

“It was quite something to be in Hollywood. The hotel I was staying in, apparently Frank Sinatra used to take his women there. And I dipped my toes in the same pool Grace Kelly had been in.

You might have read those words in the Daily Mirror on November 17th, or in Hello! magazine. This in The Mirror:

* …staying in the same Hollywood hotel that Frank Sinatra “used to take his women back” to.

“I dipped my toes in the same pool Grace Kelly has been in,” exclaims Susan. “This is a world I’d never seen before and never dreamed I would get to see.”

Back to the NoTW, which is sticking to its Susan Boyle is a victim story:

Her one regret is that her beloved parents are not alive to see her amazing transformation. Her dad Patrick Boyle, a miner and pub singer, died in 1999, and her typist mum Bridget lived with Susan until she died two years ago.

Susan Boyle – they build her up to destroy her…

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Singer Susan Boyle performs live on NBC's 'Today' from the Rockefeller Center Plaza in New York City.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, November 2009 | In: Susan Boyle Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink