Celebrity Big Brother: Katia Ivanova On Sex, Drugs, Orgies And Jonas Altberg
DAY 3 of the plan to turn Celebrity Big Brother reject, occasional orgy makeweight and Rolling Stones gnome polisher Katia Ivanova into a star.
She’s on the front page of the Star, and the headline is senzzzzational. no, Not that Katia is a cheaper alternative to Katie Price. But that:
“KATIA – ‘RONNIE WANTS ME BACK..BUT I LOVE JONAS.”
This is Katia’s “amazing tale”.
Celebrity Big Brother In Pictures: Katia Ivanova And Heidi Fleiss Leave Together
There are “red-hot pictures” of Katia inside the paper. But they turn out to be not all that hot, more lukewarm. We see Katia in her knickers; Katia on the bed in her nightie; and Katia drinking a glass of apple juice in her bath.
One page before that you can see Chelsea with her nipples out. But, Chelsea is not front-page news because she has never done painting by numbers with a Rolling Stone nor frotted a Scandinavian fish slice called Basshunter, aka Jonas Altberg, on the telly (pictures of his orgy here).
As we say, it’s all part of the plan to turn Katia from into likeable and shaggable tabloid fodder. And as is the way of the “journey”, Katia has to establish her victim credentials, and we learn:
How she turned from a bullied school girl to a sex-mad teen
Oh?
“I was really bullied and that made me have no confidence in myself whatsoever. It was only when I got to sixth form and started going out drinking in bars that I would get attention from guys. Suddenly I was getting loads of attention. It boosted my confidence and from that day on I have relied on it.”
No kidding. Katia seems to have been implanted with a motion sensor device – whenever a male is near she comes to life. She flicks her hair. She giggles. She looks coy. Batteries not included. A female approaches and Katia goes into sleeper mode.
And she loves Jonas. She just loves him:
“We struggled with our sexual frustrations. We’d kissed a lot. Then one night he said he wanted to do it with me. He said: ‘There is a shower in the toilets. Let’s go in there.’”
It’s a bidet, Jonas. Eu! Too late. See the sex tape. While that gets cleaned up, Katia tells us about Ronnie Wood, the Rolling Stones’ resident mascot:
“Ronnie was great in bed. We had a wild time. Obviously he was very experienced and very good at certain things. He knew how to please me. And we never needed to have an orgy and or anyone else in our bed.”
That good, eh? As Katia once told us:
“I won’t talk about the sex out of respect for Ronnie and me.”
She goes on:
“People seem to think we were on drugs all the time but that’s not true. I did cocaine with him a few times but we never went looking for it. It was more that we would be offered it, at parties.”
Ronnie Wood doesn’t have to go looking for cocaine – it comes to him.
And finally, Katia would like to return to those rumours that she was an escort:
“I’d just turned 18 and was a bit naive. They told me to serve drinks and it was only later I found out they actually wanted sex. I kept saying no. I never, ever sold myself. And funnily enough I got asked to leave. The bosses said I wasn’t flirty enough – so I had to go.”
And a few moments later Ronnie met her there when she was, er, serving drinks. Although her age is a hotly contested point. What else of Katia the “Russian stunna”. Well, as she told us:
“I’m not even from Russia. I’m from a tiny country called Kyrgyzstan.”
More facts to follow…
Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (6) | TrackBack | Permalink
