Anorak

Anorak | ‘Unpatriotic’ Cheryl Cole Back With Heroic Ashley: Pictures

‘Unpatriotic’ Cheryl Cole Back With Heroic Ashley: Pictures

by | 13th, March 2010

ASHLEY Cole And Cheryl Cole Divorce: Ashley jets back to Surrey, patriotic men line up for a revenge shag and Vicki Gough, Sonia Wild, Brooke Healy and Alexandra Taylor – but not Cheryl Cole – are considered for OBEs.

Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged)

The Daily Star has huge news that Ashley Cole has begged Cheryl to take him back. As the front-page headline screams:

“ASH BEGS CHERYL: TAKE ME BACK”

Anything else?

“I’ll change, sobbing ace tells missus”

Ashley will change his pulling knickers, alleged, and his ways. This news from a “source”, via the tabloids to you, the reader. This sensation is trumped by the Sun’s front-page, which moves the reunion one stop on:

“ASHLEY HOME TO CHERYL”

Or as the Mirror’s front-page puts it:

“Ashley sneaks back for Cheryl reunion”

Meanwhile, outside Cole’s Surrey mansion men holding little Union Jacks are making ready to step up should the “nation’s sweethearts”* need a revenge shag…

Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged)

* Nation’s Sweetheart: That’s Cheryl not Ashley – unless he scores the winner in the World Cup final, in which event he becomes a living god who endured the pain of, allegedly, unsatisfactory sex with Cheryl Cole and only won the day for England because so many women, allegedly, gave it up for the country. OBEs for Vicki Gough, Sonia Wild, Aimee Walton, Alexandra Taylor and Brooke Healy, and a Special Relationship badge for Ann Corbitt…

Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged)

alex-taylor

Picture 1 of 10

Alexandra Taylor



Posted: 13th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink