Britain’s Got Talent: If You Want To Get A Head Get A Laminated Forehead
BRITAIN’S Got Talent is auditioning in The Opera House, Manchester. And all eyes were on the foreheads. Amanda Holden, Ant ‘n’ Dec and David Hasselhoff have faces that should make a huge-noggined alien from the planet Zorb feel right at home.
The aim seems to be to make the average looking – Holden; Ant ’n’ Dec; Hasselhoff (if you live in Malibu (pint of) everyone looks like him) – that little bit better than the performing hopefuls they can patronise and elevate to celebrity standard.
The winners can then be plucked and injected with pureed penguin perineum to make them look shiner than a laminate floor in an Essex starter home and so recognisable to their peers among the showbiz tribe.
It was Holden who said Susan Boyle should be kept as she is so “she doesn’t have the added pressure of caring what she looks like”. Awww. See how they care…