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Charlie Sheen To Direct Cheers-Friends Porn Parody TV Show

by | 26th, February 2011

CHARLIE Sheen was not mentioned when his dad Martin Sheen and brother Emillio Estevez rocked up to the Jameson Dublin Film Festival to promote ‘The Way‘. And while the snappers snapped and the hacks hacked, the big cocaine-coloured white elephant’s crack in the room was not mentioned. But Sheen, aka Elephant Crack, been busy calling into a radio talk show.

As a result of the call, Two And A Half Men, the CBS sitcom that we only started watching after Sheen locked an orangey porn start called Capri Sun in his closet and opened Kacey Jordan’s womb to frenzied debate, is on a long, long break.

CBS and Warner Bros announce:

“Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of ‘Two and a Half Men’ for the remainder of the season.”

And while the corporates get prissy about their talent being more interesting than their show, we tell you what Sheen said:

“I was told if I went on the attack, they would cancel the show and all that, so I’m just sort of seeing if they’re telling the truth or not”

And if he is sacked?

[I’d] “go make movies with superstars instead of working with idiots.”

Like the show’s co-creator Chuck Lorre?

“I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows. I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth.”

All good stuff. And then the elephant crack starts walking and talking:

“Defeat is not an option. They know what they did was wrong they are in absolute breach [of contract] I did nothing wrong. They have picked a fight with the wrong guy. Defeat is not an option. I expressed an opinion, I have the first amendment to support me and I have an army marching behind me, to quote Eminem.”

The Colombian army needs a new general? And Colonel Gaddafi needs a speech writer. Sheen will get work. Says Sheen:

“I put a billion dollars in the studio’s pockets and I put half a billion dollars in Chuck’s pocket. I should of been walking in to sandwiches, massages and hand jobs. Yeah, I said it!”

A walk in hand job and sandwich bar. It’s like Sheen directing an episode of Friends Meets Cheers. It could be the first porn parody serial.

Call us, Charlie. We have ideas. Call Norm, Paul, Danson and Courteney Cox (she already has the porn name). Oh, and Woody…

capri-anderson-photos

Picture 1 of 10

After a dinner date with his ex-wife Denise Richards and Capri Anderson (the ladies posed for a happy photo together – see left), Sheen was found naked in his New York Plaza Hotel suite. Capri Anderson was reportedly, also naked and locked in the closet, or the bathroom.



Posted: 26th, February 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink