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Anorak | Sarah Ferguson Explores Her ‘Lotus Flower’ For Cash

Sarah Ferguson Explores Her ‘Lotus Flower’ For Cash

by | 1st, March 2011

JOBBING Royal pimp Sarah Ferguson is on Oprah Winfrey’s telly network talking about her lotus flower. No, it’s not a euphemism for her big toe, but an actual inner flower – that should not be eaten to excess lest it cause Fergie to fall into a delusional fugue:

“They always say a lotus flower grows with very strong roots in muddy water, and it grows tall and strong and no water sticks to its leaves. We mustn’t let negativity stick to us. But how could I have been a lotus flower on that day, on May 23 [the day she was caught out flogging Prince Andrew]? I was not aware of my roots [daughter of stable lad], I wasn’t standing tall and I had a world of negativity stuck to me. I was happy just sitting in my own isolated, lonely place, alone with Sarah, because at least I had myself. I was just going to be there because I couldn’t trust anyone, except for my girls and Andrew. And so I went to find the lotus flower within myself.”

She found it? Apparently, yes. And now you too can find Ye Olde Lotuss Flowere if you send £10,000 to the Sarah Ferguson Lotus Elan Fund. For that money you will get a signed promise that, despite testimony to the contrary, there is only one Sarah Ferguson…

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PA PHOTO 27/2/87 PRINCE CHARLES WATCHES HIS WIFE, THE PRINCESS OF WALES (CENTRE) AND SISTER IN LAW, THE DUCHESS OF YORK LARK ABOUT IN THE SNOW AT THE PHOTO SESSION MARKING THE START OF THEIR ANNUAL SKIING HOLIDAY. THE ROYAL PARTY, WITH THE DUKE OF YORK ARE STAYING IN THE CHIC WINTER RESORT OF KLOSTERS, IN THE SWISS ALPS.



Posted: 1st, March 2011 | In: Royal Family Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink