Supreme Court Closer Than Ever To Sanctioning Anna Nicole Smith’s Vulva-Shaped Theme Park (Photos)
UP in Heaven, where Anna Nicole Smith lives on God’s knee and every man is an ancient billionaire on his last legs, there is much wailing and and gnashing of teeth. Smith’s estate has lost an appeal to get a slice of her dead husband’s fortune.
J Howard Marshall left most of his cash to E. Pierce Marshall, his son. Smith, who married the 89-year-old when she was 26, got nothing but the flakes of dried skin on her bed sheets and a lingering smell of boiled cabbage. She was displeased. She said Marshall had promised to give her $300m as fair reward for their 14 month-long marriage – the kind of shag-to-cash ratio that Coleen Rooney should note.
Then Smith went and died three years ago. She bequeathed the allegedly promised $300m to her heirs. She might also have revealed news that the City of New York had promised to give her a statue, the Queen Mother had left her her teeth and gin bottle collection and Princess Diana’s last words were “Anna, to you the warm knickers and rights to my signature perfume and inflatable doll”. But one thing at a time. Smith’s estate wants more than the $7m she got from Marshall in gifts.
The case gets a darker edge when we learn that Pierce Marshall died in 2006. This is the story of three cold stiffs and frozen assets. The main players still, reportedly, warm to the touch are Howard K. Stern, Smith’s attorney and onetime lover, and Pierce Marshall’s wife, Elaine.
We suggest they get together and use the cash to build a massive rhinestone-encrusted Vulva-shaped care home. It being what Anna and J Howard Marshall would have wanted…