The Beatles children to form a truly awful band? The Drab Four are here
EVERYTHING ever is always spoiled by the introduction of children. Muppets – great. Muppet Babies – awful. Scooby Doo – excellent caper with slight counterculture vibes. The introduction of Scrappy Doo? Worse than a dose of anthrax. Even Popeye had a son at one point and everyone in the world wanted to end his life.
And so, let us introduce to you, the act you’ve known for all these years, The Beatles Babies!
That’s right, we could well be faced with the Drab Four if Paul McCartney’s son, James, gets his way. It has been reported that James Macca is “up for it” and that John Lennon’s son, Sean, and George Harrison’s son, Dhani, have also shown support for the idea, which would see various Beatle-sperm getting together and performing songs which will invariably defecate all over the memory of the world’s most famous group.
The only person, it seems, talking sense about the project is Ringo Starr’s son, drummer Zak, who doesn’t want anything to do with it.
James told the BBC: “I don’t think it’s something that Zak wants to do. Maybe Jason [another of Starr’s sons and also a drummer] would want to do it. I’d be up for it. Sean seemed to be into it, Dhani seemed to be into it. I’d be happy to do it.”
Just imagine the combined talents of The Beatle Babies and what foetid fruit it could bear. If you need any clues as to how wrong it could go, you’d be advised to listen to Julian Lennon’s majestically woeful solo career.
We hope that, in terms of maintaining balance, the man who stabbed George Harrison and Mark Chapman have children of their own who can also join the project in some way. Preferably the kind of way that sees them maiming the tapes every single time anyone presses record around these guys.
Let it be.