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Anorak | Simon Cowell: the black toilet paper drip feed

Simon Cowell: the black toilet paper drip feed

by | 18th, April 2012

SIMON Cowell is on the cover of three newspapers. The Daily Mirror leads with a question:

“An affair with Dannii, lusting after Cheryl, knifing Gary Balow…have we finally had our fill of Simon Cowell?”

No. Well, you might have. But the tabloids haven’t. The Mirror’s front-page news is a trail for a diatribe from Alison Phillips, who reads the Sun’s extracts from Tom Bower’s new book Sweet Revenge, and says Cowell lacks “integrity”, is “seedy” and “smutty”, possessed of a “mammoth conceit”, is “paralysed from forming proper relationships” and lacks honesty.

But he is good for 500 words and a pay check. Ker-ching!

Philips is also bothered that Cowell used Dannii Minogeu like a “hooker”.

Over in the Sun, Cowell is said to spend £3k a week on flowers, has Botox every six months and the toilets at his £20million Beverly Hills mansion come with black loo paper, perhaps to better disply the non-pooy extracts. For anything else coming out of Cowell’s arse, there’s (no, not a super-injunction) colonic irrigation to “make my eyes shine brighter”, or smarting as lesser mortals term it.

The Sun says Cowell dyes his hair, caps his teeth, and “whenever he is in the States, he is put on an intravenous drip in his bedroom for half an hour every Saturday afternoon. It pumps magnesium , all the B vitamins and pure vitmin C into his

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Posted: 18th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink