Iran’s space monkey was faked: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad invents cheesecloth pantaloons
IRAN did not fire a monkey into space. When Anorak read the news that Iran had done what the USA had done in 1961, we feared that before long Iran’s go-ahead leaders would be wearing cheesecloth pantaloons, reinventing the TV dinner and invents computer smaller than a one-bedroom flat.
Sure, the Fars news agency and other state-controlled media showed the world the face of the space monkey. We noted that the monkey sported a red mole above its right eye and a band of light fur around the side of its head. Oddly, after the flight, the monkey had changed. The red dot had gone. The fur had change colour.
Also, the second monkey has smaller hands and would have difficulty operating the spacecraft.
How did this happen? Had space altered the monkey? Can space flight cure bad skin and hair? Is space flight the next step for cosmetic surgery? Or did Iran just lie? Was there ever a monkey in space?
And has anyone seen Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?
Update: Sources close to the Iranian regime are blaming Mossad, whom, as Egypt’s leader assures as, are descended from apes.