Highlights From The Book Witnessing Made Easy: How to Pass Out Tracts for Jesus
JERRY Keever’s 1986 books Witnessing Made Easy: How to Pass Out Tracts for Jesus is a gem. This is passive aggressive preaching from 1986.
We’ve got some highlights from its 319 pages of dogmatic wonderment.
WITNESS 1: If you see open car windows as an invitation to do anything, you may be unaware of another kind of witness – the one called in court.
WITNESS 2: NO RECYCLABLES WITH THE WASTE! Your neighbours have all been fined and blacklisted by their council binmen.
WITNESS 3: Ha-ha. Already got the iPad version, loser.
WITNESS 4: Warning: may contain dog poo.
WITNESS 5: Everyone else is crook waiting to their hands on your bits of paper. Adolescent crooks love reading pamphlets. Fact.
WITNESS 6: Hobos, drunks, dogs and rats will be closer to god as they eat your rubbish.
WITNESS 7: Because Pit Bulls are there to help.