Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Eliza Kruger Photos: Mark Sanchez’s High School Sweetheart
MARK Sanchez, 24-year-old quarterback with the New York Jets, is said to be dating a 17-year-old high school student named Eliza Kruger.
She’s the daughter of Connecticut hedge funder Konrad “Chip” Kruger.
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Liverpool top Premiership tweeting list for January
An iffy start to the season might mean that the Premiership title is beyond Liverpool, but the Red half of Merseyside are at least top of one league – the country’s top footballing tweeters. Barclays has analysed Twitter traffic using Sysomos’ Media Analysis Platform (MAP) to see which teams and which cities were the centre of the Twitter-sphere throughout January, and found that when it comes to expressing themsleves in 140 charactars the Scousers come out top.
There was apparently a million tweets about the Barclays Premier League and its clubs in January with Liverpool FC, the subject of nearly a third of those tweets (301,169). In second place was Arsenal FC (110,901), which is something of a surprise given the club’s lack of transfer activity. Chelsea FC (97,655) and Manchester United (86,249) roll in as third and fourth place.
Posted: 9th, February 2011 | In: Arsenal, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
English National Badminton Championships In Photos: Can Sex Sell The Sport Of Pings?
OLYMPICS 2011: To the 2011 English National Badminton Championships where Gabby White and Jenny Wallwork have won the women’s doubles against Heather Oliver and Mariana Agathangelou.
Badminton might look like the kind of thing you’d expert to see playing in garden centre, but take another look. Why wait for the tennis to see the skirts, the rackets and the squeaky shoes, readers? For the hunks, look no further than Rajiv Ouseph, the Men’s Singles winner. Get his man a shaving contract, now!
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Posted: 7th, February 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (3)
Fernando Torres’s Rubbish Debut For Chelsea Against Liverpool: In Photos
FERNANDO Torres plays for Chelsea. On his debut he played against Liverpool, the club The Blues bought him from for £50m. And, naturally, he was on the losing side. During the game, in which he was substituted, Torres looked fed up. Here are photos to cheer Liverpool fans, and, very possibly, those Chelsea fans who can remember when their team wasn’t picked by the owner…
Posted: 6th, February 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Newcastle 4 – Arsenal 4 Photos: Who Needs Andy Carroll When You Have Phil Dowd?
ARSENAL were four goals up at the break against Newcastle in the Premier League. Then the Gunners had a player sent off for a foul on Joey Barton – conceded two penalties and had a last minute winner disallowed. Phil Dowd was the referee. He’s the Magpies’ new hero. Who needs Andy Carroll..?
Torres, Carroll And Owen Make Newcastle United The Biggest Losers
IN 1995 2005, Newcastle bid £29.5m for Fernando Torres. Six years on and Torres has gone to Chelsea for £50m. His departure from Liverpool hastened a panicky £35m purchase of Andy Carroll, from Newcastle. This leaves the Magpies fans without of their local hero. But the club’s owners do have loadsa cash, and the supporters get to cheer on Shola Ameobi up front.
As Torres said at the time of the failed bid:
“Newcastle’s offer came at the last minute when the Primera Liga had already started… The truth is that I’m very happy they [Atletico Madrid] didn’t negotiate.”
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Posted: 4th, February 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (7)
Fernando Torres Stays at Liverpool And Andy Carroll Still A Magpie For February
FERNANDO Torres has not left Liverpool. The great news is that Mr Torres is clad in the famous red shirt. And Andy Carroll is still a Newcastle United player – at least he is for the entire month of February, in accordance with the official club calendar.
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Bolton Wanderers Mistake Daniel Sturridge For Danny Wellbeck: Transfer Day Madness
THE maddest Premier League transfer story is to be found in Bolton’s capture of Daniel Sturridge from Chelsea. So overjoyed by this are Bolton that the club illustrates the capture with a photo of Manchester United’s Danny Wellbeck.
Wishful thinking? Did they get the wrong man?
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Andy Carroll To Liverpool, Torres To Chelsea, Wilshere To Sofa
ANDY Carroll has signed for Liverpool FC. Fernando Torres has left Liverpool for Chelsea. Liverpool fans still labouring under the idea that footballers care about the club they play for rip up posters of the Spaniard and burn a replica shirt. Chelsea fans realise the club can function without them. And Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere tells us:
“BREAKING TRANSFER NEWS: I have just moved from the sofa to my bed!!”
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Scots Hero Andy Murray Loses Again: England Watching FA Cup Highlights
BRITAIN’S Andy Murray was on BBC1 playing in the Australian Open final. Serbia’s Novak Djokovic defeated him in straight sets. And so it is that Scottish minority sports enthusiast Andy Murray fails again.
Meanwhile, anyone in England can flick over to ITV to watch the FA Cup highlights…
Posted: 30th, January 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Andy Murray Is 100% British: Will Remain So If Wins Australian Open
AUSTRALIAN Open: Andy Murray is 100% British. If he wins the Grand Slam event he will 100% British forever…
Posted: 28th, January 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (6)
Richard Keys Smashes It Nicely: Sky Sports’ Hairy Goalpost Speaks
RICHARD Keys has left his post at Sky Sports to spend more time with the women in his life. He’s been on TalkSport. The radio station let him speak. And Keys did not disappoint. He grabbed hold of the spade and dug and dug.
Keys ploughed on self-importantly – “With success comes envy” – and (you couldn’t write this shit) compared his plight to that of Alan Carr, Chatty Man. At this point the Dark Forces chuckled darkly. He even referred to himself in the third-person… READ MORE ON PIES
Posted: 27th, January 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Andy Murray’s Australian Open Is No Summer Holiday: Photos
TENNIS: The Australian Open turns minds to the new faces of tennis and Andy Murray.
Before Cliff Richard pricked the All England Club into fitting a roof on Wimbledon’s centre court, tennis offered the chance for nostalgia. With rain came a chance to read the paper, tackle the grouting in the downstairs toilet or watch old tennis matches. Now the tennis is on all the time. Tennis is still not big enough to afford seats on Henman Hill nor a decking area, a shed full of umbrellas and pruning shears, and swingball sets, but even without the garden tools the atmosphere at tennis matches has been often like watching The Chelsea Flower Show cabaret.
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Posted: 25th, January 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (7)
Rashard Mendenhall Dry Humps Ben Roethlisberger: Who Needs Cheerleaders?
AT the American Football Jets vs. Steelers game a Rashard Mendenhall put the tin lid on his team’s success by dry humping a Ben Roethlisberger.
Like you, we too think American names are made up to rnsure the players’ letters fit the wide expanse between the padded shoulders. American football is about looking big. Big heads. Big shoulders. Big displays of affection.
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Richard Keys’s Sister Damns Him With Praise: Andy Gray On Player Cam
IF Susan Keys, sister to Sky Sports’ resident genius Richard Keys, wanted to dig a bigger hole for the apparently sexist linkman she could not have done better. Says she:
“Football’s a tough world, he’s a consummate professional, he has three sisters and daughter and the greatest respect for women.”
Is the poppet confusing playing the game with commenting on it? And isn’t having sisters and daughter a quirk of fate – a bit like being born a woman? Keys did not choose to have sisters nor did he choose to have a daughter. But he did choose to patronise the linesperson.
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Posted: 24th, January 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Andy Gray And Richard Keys Present Chessboard Football On Sky Sports
ANDY Gray and Richard Keys are football’s brains, who have made it their life’s work to understand the offside rule. To the casual or drunk fan, the offside rule may be pathetically simple to grasp – easy enough even, say, for a Wayne Rooney or one of new wave of TV pundits like Jamie Redknapp – “There’s no argument, Anelka is arguably in the form of his life” – to understand.
But Gray and Keys want football to be bigger. They toil at the coal-face of TV broadcasting to make the world’s simplest game appear complicated and high-tec. And so it is our proud privilege to introduce Sky Sports new feature Chessboard Football. The pitch will be split into 64 equal sized squares, with Keys and Gray slowing the action down to explain each move. They will then debate what might have happened and what could have happened, taking the viewer through each permeation to its glorious or tragic * outcome.
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Posted: 24th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (16)
Who Mugged Harry Redknapp In Madrid?
TOTTENHAM Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp was mugged at the Real Madrid v Athletico match in the Spanish capital.
“I got some sweets, me and Kevin [Bond], and it was so packed. The next thing there’s two guys on their knees in front of me…”
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Posted: 22nd, January 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Dog Plays Aussie Rules In Ireland V Australia Match: Video
THE dog is on the pitch. And the Ireland v Australia footy match just carries on. What other animals could join the action to spice things up? How about a polar bear or a gazelle?
Why not allow teams to play the joker and bring on their emblem?Arsenal would have a primed cannon. Manchester United would have a demon with a red-hot fork.
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Posted: 21st, January 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Australian Open: Kim Clijsters Breasts Beat Todd Woodbridge’s Mouth (Video)
AT the Australian Open Todd Woodbridge has been studying Kim Clijsters’s breasts. And is she putting on weight..?
David Beckham’s Jesus Crosses Daniel Pearl’s Head For Mohammed To Score
MARK Cotter has created an image of David Beckham nailed to the cross. The police, responding to complaints that the image was offensive, asked him to take it down. Anorak agrees. Beckham as Jesus has been done to death.
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Dundee And Scotland’s David Goodwillie Charged With Rape (Nominative Determinism Goes Bad?)
THE Scotland and Dundee Utd fotballer charged with rape is called… David Goodwillie.
How does the man plead? Not guilty? Guilty? Nominative determined? Guilt by association…?
Australian Open: Roger Federer Walks On Air
THE Australian Open is underway. Roger Federer is walking on air…
Posted: 17th, January 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Nat Lofthouse: A Life In Photos, Ciggies And Wanderers
NAT Lofthouse RIP. This was your life in photos. You were the former Bevin Boy who played for Bolton Wanderers when they were winners (signing fee: £10 on the day after the second world war broke out). You played for England when they were the greatest. You played 33 times for England, scoring 30 goals. You became “The Lion of Vienna” as England defeated Austria 2-3 in a cauldron of noise and violence.
A footballer’s career has ups and downs – but when they die, it’s the glory that endures…
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Posted: 17th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
David Beckham And Irma Nici: The Sports Massage (Photos)
DAVID Beckham states that he did not shag Irma Nici, aka Irma Nezirovic. He says that at the time she claims he was testing the hand creams, he was having a “sports massage in his hotel room”. He says he’s never met her.
He also has:
No tattoo of her name on his skin!
No sign of her phone number written in felt tip on his knickers (see billboards)!
In his £16.5million libel suit against Bauer, owners of In Touch magazine that printed Irma’s allegations, Beckham says is has suffered “severe emotional distress, including extended humiliation, embarrassment, anger and worry“.
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Posted: 16th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Manchester City Go Top: The Premier League Is Just A Mini FIFA (Photos)
DARK days for West Ham United. Avram Grant is on his way out. Tottenham are looking to move to the Olympic Stadium – parking their tanks on the West Ham lawns. And Arsenal visit. The Gunners win 3-0. It’s easy. Too easy. Grant was never given much money to spend. And the money matters. Manchester City sit at the top of the Premier League. And they can win it. Can a team buy the Premier League? Can Qatar host the World Cup? FIFA is not the only football organisation where the money is all that matters…
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