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How To Fill In Your Census Form: A Jihadi Writes

HOW to fill in your census form – a reader gives tips:

Fill it in online. When you have answered ‘no’ to certain questions the rest of the section just disappears. Don’t say ‘yes ‘ to the question about your intentions to overthrow parliament and set up an Islamic state under sharia law centred on Bradford. Don’t tick the ‘maybe’ box either, it’s just as bad

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Posted: 9th, March 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment


Census Form Sent To Dorset Ticket Machine

A CENSUS form has been sent to the car park ticket machine at Dorset’s Moors Valley Country park.

The Occupier: Pay on Foot Shelter” faces a fine of up to £1000 and a criminal record if it fails to fill in the form.

Good. Let’s hope the money-grabbing so-and-so goes down.

Posted: 9th, March 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)


How Many Jedi Live In China And Russia? Census Finds Out

CHINA has just conducted a census. We will soon know how many Jedi live in China. Will Russia do the same? Yulia Latynina says no need:

To begin with, there is no need for one in a post-industrial society. The census is a tool for an empire or a national monarchy to control its tax-paying population. The main object is for the census takers to record as many taxpayers as possible, while the taxpayers themselves do their best to avoid being counted — their success depending on the severity of societal controls in place. Economically developed countries have replaced the traditional method of collecting census data with surveys or, as in the United States, sending questionnaires to each household.

The scope of the fraud in Russia’s recent census even surpassed the extent of election fraud regularly seen here. According to a survey of 5,253 people by Fontanki.ru, only 38 percent of the population took part in the census. Of those who were not counted, 8.6 percent “intentionally did not participate,” 33.9 percent said that “maybe someone knocked on their door but they were not home at the time,” and another 19.7 percent responded, “Why should I take part?”

How many Russian Jedi are there? We can only wonder…

Posted: 5th, November 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment