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Dragons’ Den’s James Caan Will Buy Your Baby (Dr Barnardo, Mr Pied Piper And Lindy Chamberlain’s Dingo Are Out)

JAMES Caan will buy your baby. For ca$$$$H. Caan is one fire-breathing reptile on TV’s Dragons’ Dean, that merciless show in which people climb a steep staircase to be confronted with a bench of five vain, smirking, sardonic celebrity moneymen who will take your imagination and ingenuity and mock you for a big slice of the pie.

Caan the one who wants to be liked, the earnest smoothy who will place his heart-worn-arm about your shoulder and tell you that your idea cannot be efficiently exploited to make him richer.

He will buy your baby! He will also buy their image rights. Caan’s first nest egg is a baby he’s met in Pakistan. He’s on the telly looking at the effects of the recent flood. Because what Pakistan needs is a celebrity element to help it get noticed on the news. Caan is with a film crew. He’s in a village offering the parents 100,000 rupees (£725) for their baby. He wants 100% of their produce.

Caan says his brother has need of a baby. So. The money’s there. Take it or leave it. But best hurry. There are no other offers on the table. Dr Barnardo, Mr Pied Piper and that dingo are all out.

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Posted: 24th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment (1)