Anorak News | A Fat Lot Of Good

A Fat Lot Of Good

by | 4th, September 2006

DOESN’T the Government realise that all the best chefs are fat?

Teaching schoolchildren how to cook might just make them even rounder than they already are.

And fat is a big issue – so big that the Sun has two stories on fat.

In “So fat towel wouldn’t fit round my waist”, holidaymaker Penny O’Toole relives the horror of undersized towels and her oversized body.

Staying in Dublin with husband Marcus, the 15st 5lb mum decided to take a shower. “I was so angry when I got out because I thought Marcus had only left me a hand towel to dry myself,” she says. But she was wrong. That was no hand towel. It was Penny who was too big.

The Sun produces a Penny “FAT FILE”. And notes how 5ft 4in Penny (that’s her height not her girth) has lost five stone and is now happy as a full-time mum in a pair of jeans and a sleeveless blouse with complementary ribbon-style belt.

But Penny should not relax. And here comes “tubby” knife victim Dave Jeffries-Tipton to explain why.

Posing with his shirt off in the manner of a Geordie football supporter, Dave from Stafford says he was stabbed eight times during a fight.

Happily, though, Dave is fat. Had he gone to a Dublin hotel with the aforesaid Penny, he might have dieted and could now be dead. As it was, he was saved from being seriously wounded by his bulk.

Be fat and live longer. It’s the motto we can all live by. And we at Anorak plan to.

But being fat might not ensure the future of mankind, just fat men like Dave.

In the third fat story of the day, the Mail says that fat men are 10 per cent less fertile. According to a study by scientists in Iowa and North Carolina, being a stone and half overweight reduces fertility in men by ten per cent. Being obese halves the chances of fathering a child.

The effects on the reproductive system of holidaying in a Dublin hotel with Penny or being stabbed in fight with Dave are not yet clear…

Posted: 4th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink