Anorak News | All About Heather

All About Heather

by | 28th, November 2006

Heather Mills should be locked up

COME with us to the 52nd Evening Standard Theatre Awards.

It’s that time of year when the Mail’s sister publication bestows gongs on the great and good of the theatre world.

There’s a fizz in the firmament as the air kisses explode like so many miniature champagne bottles. Some of London’s leading players settle into the cheap seats and make ready to clap like they mean it when they miss out on the prize.

And such awards are not without meaning. At a time when actors on the BBC’s flagship soap EastEnders are out-performed by their cardigans, the plot of ITV dramas rises and falls on the power of Ross Kemp’s thousand-yard stare and Reality TV Contestant is a viable showbiz career, live theatre should be supported.

Sadly, Anorak’s musical based on the life and times of Simon Cowell, and set to the music of Michelle McManus and Hear’Say, was deemed to be ahead of its time, and the award for best musical went to Caroline, Or Change.

But what of the other gongs? Many Hollywood actors now tread the boards in London – Kevin Spacey is artistic director at London’s Old Vic, David Hasselhoff has played the lifeguard in Chicago and right now Patrick Duffy is reprising the role of Baron Hardup in Cinderella at the New Victoria Theatre in Woking, Surrey.

It was thus fitting that Kathleen Turner won the best actress award for her portrayal of Martha in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

All very worthy. And all overseen by the words of Ned Sherrin. And here is Sherrin reaching for the stars as he introduces Frances O’Connor’s unsuccessful entry for best actress for her role as TS Eliot’s unstable wife Vivien Haigh-Wood.

That woman had severe mental illness. She was shut away in an asylum. Sherrin notes: “Paul McCartney is said to have seen it at least ten times.”

The Mail says the audience “exploded in laughter”. Mental illness is always good for a giggle.
And the result of so much jollity is that rather than hearing about the plays, readers get: “Another awards ceremony…another dig at Heather.”

As Mail readers are told, this slight follows Jonathan Ross’s quip at the Q Music Awards: “I wouldn’t be surprised if we found out she’s actually got two legs.”

As we said back then, if Ms Mills wants to be pitied, having the showbiz set make fun of her can only help her cause…

Posted: 28th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink