Anorak News | Britney Spears Suicide Watch – Come See

Britney Spears Suicide Watch – Come See

by | 1st, March 2007

britney-spears-suicide-watch-come-see.jpgMORE on our Britney Spears suicide special.

Staying with the Enquirer, a source tells us: “He [K-Ferret] fears Britney’s continued downward plunge into erratic behaviour could lead her to become suicidal.”

And if she tops herself, what happens to her estate?

But the Enquirer does not speculate. It deals in facts. It has seen Britney check into the Crossroads Centre, an addiction-treatment facility in Antigua. Less than 24 hours later she checks out.

So desperate and confused was Britney that she did something against nature: she flew back from Miami to Los Angeles in economy class!

The madness was taking root.

“Stop drinking!” commanded Justin Timberlake as he appeared on stage at the Brits awards. “You know who you are!” I’m speaking to you, and you are going to get sloppy!”

While a hundred and more record executives in the audience fingered the buttons on their suits and looked down though cracked pupils at their shaking hands, the Enquirer knew the comments were being directed at Britney.

But Britney was already out of the door. She was heading to Esther’s Haircutting Studio in Tarzana, California. What happened next is so much exposed scalp, tears and sticky-out ears.

Then to the tattoo parlour for a set of red and pink lips inked onto her wrist and a black, pink and white cross on her hip.

One worker at the Body and Soul tattoo parlour tells us: “She basically said that she was…tired of people touching her. It seemed like she was just sick of it all. She was very upset. Very disturbed.”

So much so that she had her genitals pieced.

We have yet to see a picture of Britney’s shiny nether regions – that for later – but we do hear a New York-based psychologist tell us that Britney may have something called “aggressogenic cognitions”.

Another medic, a Dr Barry Lubetkin, says Britney may be bi-polar, a form of depression very much if vogue in celebrity circles.

The Enquirer says Britney could be confused about her sexuality. A Dr Lawrenson tells us it “quite hard to come out when you come from a place of femininity”.

Britney needs help. And while medical minds argue over the diagnosis, here comes K-Ferret to offer her a shoulder to cry on – and, who knows, maybe even a pre-nup to rip up…

Posted: 1st, March 2007 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink