Anorak News | Jade Goody Spills In Bottle Attack

Jade Goody Spills In Bottle Attack

by | 24th, April 2007

jade-goody.jpgLIKE a spilled lamb korma on the mini-cab’s upholstery Jade Goody continues to leave her mark on the news.

Today Jade is on the cover of the Star. And, as ever, it is bad news. “JADE IN BOTTLE ATTACK HORROR,” says the headline. “Big Bro Bully’s bloody battle.”

The grim news is that Jade has been caught up in what the Star is calling a “horrific glassing attack”.

In a Camus-esque scene of cutting edges and anger, “the Big Brother bully watches in terror as a clubber lunged forward with a jagged broken bottle – and blood flowed from a six-inch wound.”

Has Jade been punctured? Those breasts don’t come cheap.

Thankfully, Jade is unhurt, at least physically. The mental scars may take little longer to heel, although there is every reason to expect that Jade does not dwell on such matters, or any matters.

Reading on, we learn the victim of this alleged assault is one Jerome Simeon, of boyband unspecified.

Journey with us to the VIP section of Sky club in Ware, Hertfordshire. All of Ware’s most notable notables are there – Mr Bun from the Baker’s, the man who can blow vodka out thought his tear ducts and one of Hertfordshire’s leading Dale Winton impersonators.

And now we are at St Albans’s Crown Court, listening in as Simeon gives evidence against one Zoe Sigorney, 28, a hairdresser. It is alleged that Sigorney did smash a beer bottle over Simeon’s head and then drag the broken remains across his face.

Sigorney claims to be the victim in a case of mistaken identity.

And here comes Jade to tell all. As Ian Wade, prosecuting tells the court: “She witnessed what happened and will give her account in her own style. We all know her life has gone through turmoil and knowing her as you do you will consider her evidence in that light.”

In other words, try not to hiss her every word and give Simeon a chance…

Posted: 24th, April 2007 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink