Anorak News | David Cameron: Chutney Today, Chutney Tomorrow

David Cameron: Chutney Today, Chutney Tomorrow

by | 24th, April 2007

cameron.jpgDAVID Cameron is at an organic farm shop in Paignton, Devon.

In “CHUTNEYGATE”, Dave approaches the till. In his hand is a basket of goods.

The Mirror notes a jar of goose fat (£3.99), home-made pork sausages (£2.98), a jute shopping bag (£1.50) and a jar of chili chutney (£3.00).

Dave hands over a ten pound note. But – what’s this? – it is not enough. Such is the rampant inflation that the cost of Cameron’s shopping basket is now £11.47.

“Disaster,” says Cameron, “I only have a tenner.”

What to do? What to do? There is an executive decision to be made and Dave must make it while a camera takes his picture and assistant Brenda Usher waits.

It is clear the country is in an economic crisis. Does Dave keep us smiling, as former Chancellor Norman Lamont once did with that Thresher’s business?

Does he distract the cashier and swiftly confiscate the chutney as a matter of national security? Does he take the chutney in a definite grip, raise it above his head and announce to the masses that when he is in power organic chutney will be cheap, plentiful and available on the NHS?

Nothing so grand.

As the paper notes, Dave hands the chutney to the cashier and only buys what he can afford. He cuts his cloth accordingly.

The Mirror calls him a “con artist”. Says it: “If he ever conned his way into Downing Street, he’d short-change the electorate.”


But Mirror readers may care to note that when short of funds Dave does not mug a pensioner for the extra cash, as other leadership hopefuls might…

Posted: 24th, April 2007 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink